I want to know that I understand and care, I have come a long ways, I couldnot go to a mall without feeling wierd but I would make myself do it and most oa all pray. I still have a ways to go, like feeling comfortable when I go out of town to visit my in-laws. Believe me that ain't a easy one but its easier than it used to be, I know how you feel

what a wonderful post. thank you. i think that if i lived in NYC it wouldn't take me long to be really frazzled. The Midwest works much better for me.

I applaud you for being in bloomingdales for half an hour even if you didn't want too!! You should not feel defeated, you should feel good that you tried. That is the most important. Anxiety is a crazy monster that loves to take away the things WE love. WE have to fight back in a non chalant way...by floating through the scary feelings and emotions, and just trying one new thing a day or a week. Think of it as just another step that brings you closer to freedom and to yourself.

You have so much to look forward to. THe traveling is going to expose you to so many new things that, while scary, will give you even more freedom.

And, what's a year when you have so many ahead of you to enjoy!.

I just wanted to say congratulations and best of luck on your journey. When I was diagnosed with GAD back in 2005, my psychiatrist MADE me buy The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook. Not only did it change my life then, but it came in quite handy three years later when I had my first anxiety attack back in January. I too am in NY, so I understand about the need to conquer this thing, especially in a city like this.

Be well.

Im Proud of You!!!
Well done, im doing the same thing as you are, just keep jogging along and you will get there.
Id be interested to know what you do to turn your fears around if you dont mind me asking.
Would you mail me with some advice? please.
Thankyou xx

Life is like a coin. It has two sides: faith and fear. Choose your side.

I know that sounds blunt and too simple. I'm sorry but it is just true.

Four years so familiar, I am an agoraphibic as well...And am now taking some control over the situation..I have just started to get out again..Short periods at a time but am finding that it gets better each time I go.. Even if it outside for awhile and not leaving home I am still outside.
Sounds like you have a good plan a routine to getting this back on track..I am working on the CBT and positive thinking for about three days now thinking they would never work for me but they actually help alot..I am here if you need to talk, hugs margaret

Congrats on being in Bloomies for that 30 minutes! I'm agoraphobic and it takes me at least two days to get it together to go out. I mean if I have to grocery shop I can talk myself into doing then but it' has to be when there are a minimum amount of people. Take care and keep in touch.

Wow! What great supportive replies. I have not posted on DS in MONTHS - I forgot how fantastic all of you are. I was asked how I turn the fear around. I don't really have an answer - it stays with me as I push. My Doctor quoted Shakespeare(hope I get this right) "Things are not good or bad, thinking makes it so". He says it over and over. At first I thought...this dude has clearly never had a panic attack in his life. But as I repeat it to myself, it does help shift my thinking. Here's a snapshot of what happens with me....I have had the unfortunate experience of pushing and pushing and hitting a terrifying wall - where I could not walk...my feet would not move. My mind was racing and I was gone. It was like somebody turned the crazy switch on. I was trying to get a cab in Times Square after work. I could not walk from my building to the corner. It took almost an hour to walk 20 steps (yes, and hour!). I had to have a traffic cop help me to the lamp post so I would have something to hold on to as I tried to hail a cab. It was about 20 degrees outside. I finally waved down a cop and told him the truth about having panic disorder and that I needed help getting a cab. He asked me if I wanted to go to the hospital and I truly considered it...but I could not risk losing my job - I had already taken a medical leave this year. He stopped traffic (IN TIMES SQUARE - had to say it again) -and got me a cab. He told the driver I had a bad hip. Very sweet. This was back in November or December. My doctor had a hunch that there was too much serotonin in my system from about 3 meds. Serotonin Syndrome. It took about 2 weeks to get to a place where I did not need my assistant to walk me out of the building every night (He never asked why and was very kind). The doctor took me off ALL meds with even a trace of Serotonin (am I even spelling that right?). There is not a night that I leave the office and do not think of that evening. I pause as I get on the escalator. I am doing SO much better now, still not ready for public transportation - the walk to the subway is too stressful. So I spend TONS of cash on cabs. So, here I am an executive who works in Times Square and I can't walk to business lunches without tons of inner hell. I do it....but it is HARD!

Zazzers, what a tale you have shared with us. You are a steadfastly brave and courageous man. Many fellow DS'rs will surely benefit from reading your story and learn new skills in dealing with their obstacles. May God continue to bless you always. :)

Female. :)

Just wanted to say you were not defeated in your Bloomingdale's excursion.....even an attempt is considered a success in these cases, and you stayed 30 minutes! That was a rousing success. You are doing all the right things. May I tell you to look at the following website and see what it's all about....www.emofree.com....it will sound a little crazy, but I'm doing this with a practitioner and it does help.

Beckeroo

I was a positive mess last year also. I have made up my mind that I am going to face my fears no matter what. Sometimes I am successful and somtimes not but I vow to never to give up. That is key.