Sounds like the voice in my own head which I believe is anxiety, itself. ^It^ be a loud, obnoxious voice that lies to me worse than any other human I've ever had to live with. The meanest lies in the world are the lies we tell ourselves.

Talking about ^it^ (whatever the ^it^ of the day is) openly is my first step in shutting that big loud mouth. ^It^ gains tremendous strength and volume when I am willing to keep ^its^ secret.

Have you ever heard of 'intrusive thoughts'? That's the first thing I thought of when reading your post. Maybe do a quick google search and read up on what they are, if you aren't familiar.
I used to think my thoughts were crazy, like I had something wrong with me. I would have thoughts that were so negative and horrible sometimes that felt like they were foreign and not my own. I would think,
'Is there something wrong with me? Why am I hearing thoughts that don't feel like my own?'

I am no doctor, so I cannot tell you that this is exactly what you're suffering from, but I did feel much relief in learning about intrusive thoughts. They are fueled and created from fear, and it almost feels like they are a separate entity. in your mind.
Are you currently seeing a therapist?

I often have thoughts that don't sound or feel like my own. It usually happens when my pain is bad and the anxiety worsens. The thoughts tell me that I can't manage by myself and that I won't improve. I have to try to get quiet and calm which is hard. The thoughts usually stop for awhile. Distraction helps. I don't know if this helps. It is not your fault at all. Don't blame yourself. My best to you. I really understand. Take care

I am sorry to hear about your struggles. I struggle with very similar thoughts.
I admire your courage to reach out. Please know that you are not alone and your life is valuable. I believe God creates everyone for a purpose, including you!

Would you be willing to talk to someone you know about these thoughts? I know it can be intimidating because you don't want to be seen as crazy, but I have learned that hiding struggles only makes them more difficult.


Praying for you, friend. God bless you.

It makes me sad to hear about what you're going through. I feel very similar on a regular basis. I constantly question why people want to be around me and if their feelings towards me are genuine. When I feel like I am doing something good, the feeling as if I don't deserve it and have worked hard enough for it sneaks up on me and crushes the minute amount of confidence that I had prior. Something you may want to research is imposter syndrome. I had a conversation with a friend about this and it clicked with me, so maybe you might find it helpful. It's the idea that an individual has the inability to believe that we deserve what we have no matter what we do to earn it, including professional and personal accomplishments as well as progress in relationships.

I want you to know you are not alone in what you are feeling. I know it's easier said than done but try to focus on small accomplishments and when that voices appears, keep repeating I do deserve it, I am worth it.

I hope this helps. You will be in my thoughts.