Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Had a nice dinner with my wife at this upper end hotel, with a piano players providing nice music. It was tough to get her to go, took a good hour, but we had a nice time at dinner as we did a few days ago, reminescing about 30+ years of marriage, children and grandchildren doing well.
This morning she was not in a good mood, she had a couple of drinks and that does not help but when I mentioned it, she slammed a pillow and does not want to hear that. Her doctor and given her seemingly angry demeanor and worry I asked for speakerphone since I thought there was something wrong. The doctor reported that all the tests were normal which seemed to anger my wife. She looked great at dinner but today, was angry at the doctor saying how can he say I'm normal when I look like this.
The overwhelming number of people therapists, physicians, family members agree this is a psychiatric issue, but her sister maintains there is a signficant physical component as does my wife.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
Had a nice dinner with my wife at this upper end hotel, with a piano player providing nice music. It was tough to get her to go, took a good hour, but we had a nice time at dinner as we did a few days ago, reminescing about 30+ years of marriage, children and grandchildren doing well.
This morning she was not in a good mood, she had a couple of drinks but when I mentioned it and a connection to depression, she slammed a pillow and does not want to hear that. Her internist called and given her seemingly angry demeanor I asked for the call to be put on speakerphone since I thought there was something wrong. The doctor reported that all the tests were normal which seemed to anger my wife. She looked great at dinner but was angry at the doctor saying how can he say I'm normal when I look like this.
The overwhelming number of people therapists, physicians, family members agree this is a psychiatric issue, but her sister maintains there is a significant physical component as does my wife.
i surely did when my hubby was chasing me out of state with his overwhelming agreement network. it hurt having the most trusted person in my life continually campaigning for my compliance to his overwhelming agreement network. he hated it when i started calling his "concern" gossip. no matter. i was already out of state by then.
i am grateful he dropped the habit of gossiping about me behind my back.
for what it's worth.
I'm going to repeat myself with this one, because when a person with psychiatric problems keeps 'denying' that this is also a medical issue for the body, however, it starts with the brain (which is what keeps us alive), they display 'anger outwards'.
At this point, the one person who agrees with her, probably has similar issues that have not reached 'the point of no return'.
I have several family members who were extremely upset when I said 'therapy to understand your feelings will actually help you to physically feel better!'. It's true, and in your sharing, it's obvious that all the previous methods have proven the impact to be coming from within your wife's mind/body.
One thing I would suggest at this point, is to write a short, positive, friendly note of these events and put the book on display every single day after you make an entry.
One of my friends used a combination of photos, events, and the times of the day to help their partner see the 'real' problem in a quiet, peaceful, and calm way.
Keep sharing and hang in there! The good moments are there, too!
I am wondering if you are also wondering.... is her having alcohol only putting fuel on this fire?
Arfie, its very hard when you see something seemingly obviously wrong, and a family member wants support- for example, one family member worked 10-15 hours per week, got fired, multiple times, tried to start his own company with around that effort, but gets extremely upset when people make sensible suggestions instead of blaming Obama and Biden who have prevented his success despite his tremendous effort and skill.
One can try to refrain from talking and I do it, at least 10 times a day I feel like saying, you can take your medicine as prescribed, allow the doctor to evaluate a compliant drug regimen, work on cognitive behavioral therapy and reframing thoughts, get outside, do exercise, call your friends, get a healthy eating and sleeping schedule, but you're little of this, for every 1 hour of constructive effort we have 10 of complaining.
Most of the time I try to be supportive, suggest we get out by the pool or at a nice restaurant, try to get friends on the phone. Its hard when someone wants to coopt you into mistaken ideas, or beliefs.
Most of us family members then will do as I do, go to doctors and others and try to address physical issues as best we can, minimize the times we suggest or imply complaints are exaggerated, try to facilitate treatment for mental illness, hope for the best, and just realize, as people here say, the person experiencing the problem is the only one who can address and solve it. thanks as always for listening and working to help. .