Welcome back Kikio.

Diagnostician I ain't, nor do I want to be, but it sounds like my own officially diagnosed social anxiety and low self-esteem. In my own case, social anxiety is hard enough to live with that I don't believe there is anything justy about it.

I will offer the suggestion that you share here more often while you try to sort your own case. If nothing else, it helps to know you are not alone with ^it^.

Welcome back. You are not alone.

Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s not. Maybe you try too hard? Some people find that annoying. Maybe you are expecting too much in return? ( That’s my biggest problem). Maybe it’s just a feeling you have that’s not justified. In other words, anxiety is a big liar, it makes us think and feel things that aren’t true. Social anxiety is just a fear of being around people, interacting with them, etc. Is that fear justified? Only in our own mind is it justified. The reality is that due to our lack of self confidence, we fear social interactions, we let the fear build up a long list of “what if’s” and other unjustified thoughts about other people. The fact is that all people are social creatures, yes some more than others. When we don’t feel confidence within ourselves, then the mind goes into overtime to protect us from hurt, to justify our negative emotions. Look at your anxiety as an emotion, because that is what it is. That emotion is no different than love, happiness, anger, etc. You can decide to not let fear run your life. Reach out to others in small and simple ways, not too much at first. Keep doing it a little at a time. Look at people’s reaction to you with a new approach. Calmly. Let a little be enough at first, don’t over do, the anxiety will push you to overdo, don’t let it. Don’t overthink it, the anxiety will push you to, don’t let it. If it helps, write down a small narrative of every time you interact with some one. Give yourself credit for reaching out every time you do, I really think you are brave enough to do this, it’s the negative thinking and anxiety that get in your way. So just keep it very simple for a while, look at it calmly afterward and give yourself a pat on the back. A reminder that not all people are nice, sometimes they may be preoccupied, there are usually good reasons why people don’t reciprocate our attempts at friendliness. Don’t let that discourage you. Hope you keep in touch here.

Stop. Pause. Breathe. Repeat until you feel clear headed.

Instead of describing actions with annoying, boring, use other words to help you see the "help, interest, and respect". Acknowledging this action will give you more confidence in yourself.

Practice here. You are not alone in this!

Hey, I got some solutions. I grew up relatively unpopular but had a son immensely popular, captain, many friends, parties, girl, guy friends and seeing this, I learned at lot what makes .

1. Decide if that's what you want. Hey something I like doing what I want, when I want, and you can't do that being popular with a group. One time I saw him with a group spending an hour trying to figure out what movie to watch.

2. Be a good listener. with genuine interest in what the other person is saying. Smile, don't interrupt, followup with questions, and don't hijack the conversation- you got an award at your school, that's great what did it involve, not let me tell you about my better award.

3. Greeting Here's where it starts. When a friend comes in, give him a big smile, hey its Jack, great to see you.

4. Dress well, as a man or woman. How you look influences how people see you, but no overstatement, for a girl not a dress too short, man, not overly formal or casual. Ask for help, get a good wardrobe.

5. Long stories Be careful of long stories when you're speaking.
Pick up on cues If you're telling a story, and someone is nodding, its time to shorten. We have a religious leader, nice man, but he will give long sermons, on obscure points when you can people getting bored or Zoom.

6. Really understand people At one party, my family member was drunk and I was about to shut it down when he said, I've got it under control. When I asked, he said, I know what everyone is doing and I watched, impressed, at each person did about what was predicted, one eat, someone wrestle, etc.

7. Calm not rattled However, skillful you are, sometimes people will become bored, make unkind comments or offend you. He stays calm and does not get rattled, one nice byproduct of sports, when coaches can yell and belittle you, and expect you to perform well 2 minutes later.

8. Be careful of leading. My family member was a leader, but was careful about slowly building consensus first, while others could try to impose personal preferences on a group, alienating people. Greeting Here's where it starts.

9. Books How to Win Friends and Influence People continues to be the best book on this, probably one of the best of all time.

Good luck.

I’m sure you’re lovely just as you are and a lot of people would appreciate a friendship without drama. I’d love a friend like you. Maybe just learn a few new social skills and join a club where meeting the same people repeatedly might help. Otherwise volunteering may help give life meaning. Good luck

I always made friends at all of my jobs except my last one. I was bored with their lunchtime stories. I ate and went on Facebook. Maybe they thought I was unfriendly. I didn't get invited to things and once or twice, they forgot my birthday. The office manager and receptionist were nice to me. I also don't gossip. I did notice over the years that I wasn't part of the popular people because of it. It does sound like you are trying too hard. I once got a message from an angel. She called my name as I laid in bed. I was struggling with my religious OCD. I said What do you want from me? And she said Be yourself.

Thank you all so very very much! I see so many excellent suggestions here. I will give them a try. Thank you so much for your support.