Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I wrote in the depression forum a while ago about losing a friend. I find myself trying to go out there to meet new people, and it's great the first two meetings and then hesitation. I am an introvert. I feel energized when I am alone and find too many people distracting and nerve wracking. still, I am also human and I want to have close friendships. However, I see a pattern; I tend to be a distant friend. I will call maybe once or twice a month, and it is always to try to get together. It is usually when I feel lonely or bored that I want company. I don't know if that's fair. I always assume that if they want to hangout it's because they are bored too. I can go days without thinking of someone and yet when I do, it is usually with fondness. It's not that I don't like them. It's that my head is a big and cavernous place and I get lost there, even when I'm not anxious or depressed. That and I work part time as well as full-time and so for at least three days a week I get home completely exhausted(so for 3 to 4 days a week I don't exist socially). When I am depressed I take my friends lack of calling me as a sign that they really just tolerate me. I don't see much of anything likeable about myself. When I am anxious I am so certain that everyone must secretly be disgusted with me, or pity me; I hate that I seek that pity to feed into ruminations or at least get someone to pretend to care.So of course, these conditions don't facilitate friendships. Still, I wonder if my lack of friendships comes more from my personality.
We can also be honest about our feelings. One of my introvert friends absolutely hates talking on the phone. It's just really difficult for her. Another introverted friend absolutely hates anywhere crowded. And they've told me it's been difficult for them to find friends or even look because they feel their oddity is "too weird." When they've told me their "weirdnesses" it didn't seem like that big of a deal to me.
But someone has to go first in telling their truth. What's nice is that if I tell people about my introversion, it helps me manage their expectations. If I'm not for them, we know right up front.
I wonder if you'd be able to maintain friendships longer if you can tell people what you need an explain to them that while you adore your friends, you tend to want to only get together every now and again. That way they don't feel you're rejecting them or you don't really like them.
The thing we sometimes don't realize is that - the way we feel - that fear someone really doesn't like us or whatever - is very common. When we can tell our truth to one another, it helps.
Introverts need downtime. Period.
True friends will try to understand your nature and let you be you. Perhaps they don't call because they know you're busy and you will reach out to them when you can?
Try not to over-think friendships. Be yourself and let the friendships be whatever they are.
Reed31, I fear that I maybe too distant for even typical introverts to even tolerate. I am so boring and dull, and I have no idea what would even entice them to want to spend any time or energy on me.
McBri, I am still very uncomfortable in my own skin.