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Unconditional Love

arfie
arfie

Everything in life has conditions. Often the conditions are as chaotic and obscure as a microbial infestation, but **they** are always there, mixing freely with other conditions, both internal and external, big and small. More often than not, I have fallen to hostile silence when the subject has come up in group therapy meetings. The thoughts shared by others mostly sound like more romantic delusion to my pragmatic mind. Have you noticed the divorce rates romantic delusions have ushered in?


I don't understand the concept, but it keeps popping up as an intrusive thought loop. It has been popping up in over-drive during the beautiful, unseasonably cool weather of the past week or so. Perhaps unconditional love is an acceptance of life on life's own terms? I reserve the right to seek shelter from a storm, but I can still love the storm from a safe distance?


Anybody believe in "Unconditional Love?"

doggy123
doggy123
yes, like how parents or other family do, or should at least. I'm not very romantic, and don't get that 'romantic' love...that does seem like the kind that wears out. maybe it's bc I have a crappy mother and no one that cares besides my dad, but I've realized that that's what I want, or need...someone that accepts you and loves you like family, will be there when you need help, and not just when you're being "fun" or interest them in some way. the older I get, the more interested I am in *that* part of a relationship, rather than the fun part. but I guess that's a lot to ask for, these days...too much, some might say.
Thor2008
Thor2008
A=A. You have to accept life as it is in reality. There is truly no hiding from it. A=A and anything in your philosophy that argues at A=B is false a revokes reality. You can not build up a false philosophy because eventually, it will all come back to A=A.
arfie
arfie
At the start of my first parenting career in 1980, I did believe that unconditional love *should* be a part of the parent/child bond. As my eldest son progressed through early adolescence, that interpretation of "unconditional love" began to acquire names like co-dependency, enabling, etc. At 40, my son thinks I was a crappy mother, too. His drug buddies and dealers don't doubt it.

Nor do I. . . A healthy foundation for a healthy life needs limits and boundaries. There we go with those pesky conditions again. . .
eli_mom
eli_mom
Hi Arfie,
Thank you for sharing. Yes I do believe in unconditional love. God demonstrated His love for us when we were still sinners by sending His only son Jesus. God loves everyone and that is the best example of unconditional love. We can come to Him for who we are.

I also experienced unconditional love from my parents. They loved me so much in spite of my mistakes and failings. Now that I am a mother, I’m practicing the unconditional love that I had received from them to my son. Discipline is also part of unconditional love. If my son makes a mistake, I correct him with love. Just like God, He loves us but He does not tolerate sins. He corrects and disciplines us because He wants the best for us.

Stay safe, God bless.
arfie
arfie
I don't believe I could have survived my childhood, much less healed from it as far as I have without God's unconditional love and forgiveness.

Alas, Her Divine Love is a might harder to practice within human society for someone whose parents sold them into prostitution. I read all the books for my parenting guidance, but all the books in the world can't take the place of the wonderful, decades long examples you've had to follow. You are, indeed, safely blessed.

Sorting. . . Small steps, big faith and lots of prayer.
doggy123
doggy123
I agree, and smothering isn't good either, and can lead to resentment. that sounds more like my dad. in my case, everyone agrees she's a crappy mother, sadly. someone who spends almost all their time, energy, and money on themselves, and little to none on their kids, is clearly a crappy mother. and as evidenced how unaware said crappy parent is, they actually expect their kids that they treated like crap to be there and help THEM when they need it. HA!!

so, I guess parents need to actually be capable of loving their kids in the first place, in order to do so unconditionally. so, I guess there's a difference there, but sadly, many ppl would be glad for any kind of love.
arfie
arfie
Gentle support while you recover from those harsh experiences, Doggy. Hope healing happens here.

I have zero doubt that bad parenting can do hideous damage. My parents sold my 10 siblings and I into prostitution before any of us could say the word. I had been in psychotherapy for 7 years before my first childbirth and believe I had removed the blockages to my ability to love, but I was still decidedly lacking in the daily fine points of adding a loving discipline to my own "Unconditional Love."
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