Vulnerability is not the same as weakness, and a lot of men are taught never to show vulnerability. It's like an animal lying on its back; someone could stab it easily. So you find some animals won't.

But we have to allow ourselves to be vulnerable to others in order to have anything wrong with us healed, and also to have any level of pleasure. Opening up and being vulnerable can teach you a different kind of strength. It's not cowardice, it's not weakness. Often it's a very specific form of courage.

We're all in this together. We all sink or swim together. We all have a personal vested interest in you being happy.

All the best. :)

It's tough for some to take the first step.

Sully, I felt the same way when my anxiety first manifested, but here's the rub, if you try to fight and suppress it to not show, and keep the manly appearance up, it may take a longer time to heal. I have found accepting that this is me for now,and reaching out for help helps the dark seasons past quicker. Much easier with help as opposed to going it alone. Hey just today Prince Harry disclosed he got help....

Thanks for all of your kind words I just don't know what medicine to try I just started Effexor not sure I like it sully

Long time ago tried Lexapro, did not do anything, now low dose Zoloft helps keep anxiety in check....

I prefer to be friends with men who are in touch with their feelings and are secure enough in their manhood to seek help when they feel they need it. That's the sign of a real man, in my opinion. All the best to you.

I am seeing a psychologist first time today. I finally admitted I cant do it alone. I am lowering Paxil and will eventually start Zoloft and hope it helps the depression and horrible anxiety. I am proud of you for reaching out too. I have always put my big girl pants on but it is not working anymore. Peace to all of us!

There's nothing weak in showing your vulnerability, I always think it takes a strong man to have the courage to do that. I was with a guy that couldnt and would never again if he couldn't have the strength to do what your doing.

just recently have I had the courage to ask my do doctor for help although anxiety medicine has side effects like weight gain or sexual issues I don't know what to try

I'd go for counselling first and see how far that gets you. It might solve it, or it might half-solve it. But it's got the fewest side effects. :)

Where would I go for counselling?

A therapist

do you have a primary care doctor? If so, ask for a referral...or just type in google therapist and the city/town you live in....you can try free counseling sort of by going to alanon if your finances are tight...it's about creating healthy boundaries, healthy relationships...if you've never been to a therapist, you might have to try on 'different types'....If you want a working therapy, I pretty much use this to survive now, DBT, https://dailydbt.wordpress.com/2011/03/02/negative-thinking-new-thoughts-and-diffusion/ this is just one small segment...challenging negative thoughts. Best, ml

Hi, I'm new to this site a see it's been awhile since you've been on, but hope your doing well. Would love to give my insight and advice if still seeking some! Take care

As a land surveyor, being in the elements, I'm supposed to be tough. I finally went to my primary doctor, got on some low dose Xanax, taken when
needed, feeling so much better! Good luck in your journey!!!