Both my mom and my baby brother have severe codependency behavior issues, my mom being the worst of the two. They have a very unhealthy dynamic between the two of them, that of which my husband and I can only compare to an addict or alcoholic. 

Mom lives with us but often stays at my baby brother's house. She spent a lot of time over the past 3 weeks cleaning and organizing his house, especially over Thanksgiving while he was away visiting his sons. 

My mom spent this past Tuesday at my brother's house, and when he returned her, she was having an emotional crisis and had an hour long meltdown in our living room. Apparently, she and my brother got into an argument about where she put his study guides for his finals this week (he went back to school in the fall). 

She was so distraught about it, that after he left and she went back to her room, she called people (who called me) to tell them that she wanted to end her life. 

She complained that nobody cares about her, only her grandsons love her. And nobody wants her around. I told her of course we want you around, or we wouldn't have you live here. But that wasn't enough. She went on about some things that happened nearly 30 years ago when I was in high school and she came home to find a keg in the middle of the kitchen. That she was upset and wanted to kick my friends out. That isn't how I remember it, though. She came home and my friends offered her a beer and she happily drank it and then had another. 

Also, are you telling me you're suicidal because of some stupid little party 28 yrs ago? Then she went on about violence in the news, she invited my older brother and his fiance to come down for Hannukah but they said no, she made a new friend who also said no, and that nobody wants her around so she should just end her life. 

We spent hours talking to her, late into the night and she eventually calmed down. The next morning after hubby left for work, she started spiraling again. So I called her psychiatrist and they said take her to the ER. But because I had multiple appointments at the VA with specialists I had been waiting to see for half a year, I decided not to cancel and that taking care of my own needs were more important. Especially since I am tired of dropping everything I am doing to help her in her many crises. I decided to stop putting her needs over mine  (something a self help book is teaching me). 

I told mom she will have to wait till I get back. I called my husband and let him know the situation, and he ended up taking the rest of the day off to come home and keep an eye on her. 

When I got home, we took her to the ER. She is incredibly frustrating. At the check in window when they asked her how can we help you, she answered with how educated she is, how organized she is, she is a very accomplished person, that she is an artist, and on and on. I interrupted her and told her that they aren't asking about your accomplishments, they need to know what is the emergency. 

We finally got her checked in. Waited around 2 hours but the ER was packed to the brim with people in gurneys lining the walls, so they had not yet assessed my mother. They told us they would hold her for 72 hours on suicide watch, so we went home and went to bed. Sometime after 11 pm, the hospital called me and said her diagnosis is "she is just being over dramatic and is not a danger to herself," so they are discharging her. Then my mom called all happy and chipper and asked to be picked up. But, neither I nor my husband felt like giving her any more of our attention, so we said no. She then caught an Uber home. 

This drama ate up are Tuesday night, the stress kept us from sleeping for 2 nights, and then ate up all of our day Wednesday. Not to mention my husband scraped up whatever PTO he had left to come home and keep her company.

Suicide threats can be really scary and keep one on edge. My theory is she felt rejected by my brother and therefore did not feel like living. But my husband and I can't help feeling like she pulled this BS just for attention. That she wanted us to drop everything we are doing and pay all of our attention on her. Cant help feeling used and like this is emotional terrorism. 

I talked to my older brother and asked that he help me find a place for Mom and get her moved out of my home. 

Thank you for taking the time to read all this. I had to vent somewhere.