Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I haven’t heard from my friend all day. On the surface, this doesn’t seem like much of an issue. However, she is severely clinically depressed, and I seem to be her only distraction from it. Because of that, it’s very unlike her to just not contact me at all the entire day. I’ve tried texting her three, four times in the past hour and a half, but she still hasn’t responded. We’re both minors, so it isn’t like she has a job she’s busy at or anything.
I’ve tried telling myself that I’m most likely worrying over nothing, but ironically, that’s only made me feel worse. This moment has given me an epiphany of sorts; I feel like I can barely breathe or focus on anything else, all because a friend hasn’t texted me today! It’s been this bad for awhile; I once had to be checked out because I thought I would faint after she had made an apparent hyperbole abour how she felt after being diagnosed with PCOS and recently spent the whole day being unable to work because I was preoccupied after seeing her have a traumatic flashback to abuse for the first time, just to name a few things that have happened in the past few months. I know I can’t live like this anymore.
The very first thing anyone has told me so far is that I just shouldn’t be friends with her. I feel like that would only make me feel worse, though, because I’d be constantly guilty for abandoning her and twice as paranoid because I’d be even more in the dark about her well-being and state of mind. I learnt a little while ago that, most likely, the biggest obstable I have right now with these problems is that I have no idea how she spends her free time; I’ve only heard bad things, long after they have happened. I want to ask her, but I don’t know if she’d be willing to answer. Actually telling her about how I feel would definitely make her feel guilty beyond belief, and she might decide to cut herself off from me. Again, though, I feel like that would be the worst thing for both of us right now. I’m seeing a therapist, but I won’t see her for a few days and can’t seem to reach her; so far, talking to anyone else hasn’t been helping. What do?
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
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"don't be a hate hole" has been one of my recent mantras which seems to be escaping my mouth more and more often. it emerges when i am faced with the endless list of chores i would rather not deal with. insurance. head lice. bureaucracy. in-laws. the list goes on and on and on and on, ad infinitum.reality checks requested. am i making sense?"ever'thin they is but loving leaves a rust on your...
I have dealt with both Depression and Anxiety in my life for a number of years and both of these are pretty heavy to deal with. I would never suggest you abandon your friend, but the word 'boundaries' does pop into my head. You might want to try and figure out how much you can deal with and share that with your friend. Then you can both talk about what that looks like. Maybe you two agree on what is appropriate so that neither of you feel overwhelmed nor do you feel abandoned.
I'm glad you are seeing a therapist and I hope your friend is as well.
Good luck!
As for boundaries, I do agree with some of what you say there, however I don’t necessarily want to hear any less from her than I do now. Ironically, the less I hear, the more worried I get. I would really prefer not to be in the dark about my friend’s mental health and well-being because the more I know, the more I can do about it. I don’t want to spend the restof my life guilty, haunted by thoughts of what I could have done to help my friend because I didn’t know enough to do anything. I should actually mention that, while she does talk to me every day, she doesn’t just rant about all her problems; she just talks to me to distract herself, so I rarely hear about any of her problems unless she sporadically, very briefly mentions one and lets me choose to initiate conversation, or, again, if she suddenly brings something up long after it happens. Again, I would prefer to know more than less, but she doesn’t like me being the one confronting her on such things.
Thanks again :)
Be careful. As hard as it is, you are NOT responsible for your friend. You are responsible for what you say and do, and being a friend means being kind, and stepping back when needed.
You are both stronger than either of you realize.
Best wishes.
Reaching out is the first step for all of us to overcome anxiety. Have you considered talking more with your parents, a guidance counselor, and/or a youth leader? Getting help is a brave step. Praying you will continue to do that!