I am a big advocate for therapy. I have been in and out of therapy my entire life. Each therapist helped me with a little piece of the puzzle. In my 20's I had a therapist who helped me learn to change my negative thinking to positive thinking and to learn to see myself as a beautiful person inside and out. In my 30's the next therapist helped me more with my positive self image - something I really needed to learn. This therapist also suggested (like all the others did) that I go on meds for my anxiety. I went on Paxil and it worked wonderful for 10 years. When it stopped working my anxiety was much worse than 10 years ago so, on the advice of a friend, I went to my current therapist. She helped me to see that my family added a lot to my anxiety and that I needed to learn boundaries. For 2 years I worked on learning boundaries and also learned that I was important too. I had this incorrect mindset that I should do ANYTHING for family and that I was never to be considered. Once I learned these latest lessons it was safe enough to remember the events that sent my anxiety in motion... I remembered I was sexually abused as a child. Without all the steps I took and all the lessons I learned from each therapist I am not sure I would have ever remembered the abuse. And without remembering the abuse my anxiety would have continued to get worse and worse. I have been healing from the abuse for 2 years and my anxiety is almost gone. I have been off all meds for at least 8 months and know I will never be on meds for anxiety again.

For me, the term 'self help' for anxiety, means that all you will be doing is coping with it. If you go to a therapist and try to find the original cause of your anxiety and heal from it you will be rid of it for good. No more coping. No more being afraid to go to new places. No more being afraid to socialize. A good place for you to start may be with postings that AdventureGuide has been adding to this forum. If you friend her you can see all the information she has been posting as they are in her journal. She has covered many excellent things such as turning negative thoughts into positive thoughts. Please friend her so you can see them. There are 10 weeks of entries that have been very helpful to several people here.

I hope you are having a good day today.

Take care

I'm with Lucky.....I'm a big advocate for therapy. I've been in therapy for nearly 23 years now. I thought I had worked through all my issues and didn't think I needed more therapy.....but .......I do and am currently back with my therapist. I have gone through several.....and I've had my share of bad ones.....but the few that were/are good.....well, I can't say enough or stress enough their importance in my healing.
I have gone through some horrendous abuses and losses in my 53 years on earth and it is no wonder I suffer from anxiety. However, I don't want a bandaide (managing anxiety) any more.
I want the cure and with the help of Adventureguide, Luckyempathy, and Tigerlily....I'm getting better.....oh.....and I don't want to forget....my wonderful therapist, Judy :)
I have problems getting my feelings (now that I have them) and events coming together, so my therapist does sand tray play and art therapy (that is where I draw my feelings.....don't need to be an artist....stick figures, etc are fine and your feelings come out unconsciously).
I am on my way to feeling better and having a whole different outlook on life. I'm squelching the negative thoughts and feelings becuz they don't serve any purpose in order to be happy and healthy.
Know that you are creating anxiety in your mind and it can be remedied.....but it's going to take some time and a bit of work.
I am med free except a half pill of Xanax at bedtime.
I hope to be completely med free by summer. My anxiety ran on a scale from 1-10 at 100 and am now down to 8 :)
Keep the faith and do the work.....I know you can beat this and never have to just manage anxiety again!

I'm new to this anxiety group thing but so far I am really enjoying it! I respect the people who can share their stories and situations. I have also been to therapy when i was 17, because I was struggling with talking about the issues I was dealing with in my life. The therapist I saw helped me work out the issues and express what I was feeling. Now that I am older and trying to manage school, work and a new relationship it is hard again to deal with the stress and anxiety I have.

I understand where you are coming from with the embarrassment. I started therapy about 6 months ago and did it for a while a few years ago.

We have things out of our control keeping us from doing what we want in our life. We should go with our heads held high. I am slowly learning that my anxiety is a medical issue, just like any other. We cannot help how we feel on our own sometimes. ((hugs))) Oh I miss having a lil one :)

Treating your anxiety is a huge step, and no doubt caring for a 4 month old is hard work to say the least. Are you at home with the baby or are you working also?
Because if the baby sees different people there is already a lot of socializing going on.

Having been raised from a very different culture I did not "socialize" my child very much at all, not until kindergarten.
In many European countries socializing is not seen as a skill, rather as an activity the child will participate in as he or she gets older.
I totally focused on raising the child and can not remember worrying about socializing. Automatically as the child gets older he or she will decide for herself or himself when they want to socialize. You can actually really see that when a child is ready for that step. It is not automatic and it is also not a requirement at a certain age, just like talking or walking at a certain age.

Every child develops differently. Give yourself a break and realize what a tremendous job you are doing if you are giving your child the attention, love, and care he or she needs. Those are the basics every child needs in the formative years. The socializing will develop all by itself.
You may speed up socializing by going on walks and trying to see if parks are close by where other children are playing.
For your anxiety that would be a great choice because then you are not "locked" in a room and can freely move, allow your child to play with others and retreat when you so choose.

I don't have children myself but many of my friends have little ones. I am astonished at how much pressure women put on themselves when it comes to their kids these days. It has to generate so much anxiety. You have to take care of yourself, though, before you can be there for them. Just remember that.

I think by just getting on here and acknowledging you have a problem is a huge step. Going to a professional and asking for personal help will be the next huge step and then you're halfway there! I've had a lot of success with therapy. It doesn't have to be long-term... you can simply go to someone for awhile and they will give you the tools to combat your anxiety for a lifetime. Cognitive behavioral therapy is helping me a great deal at the moment.

Other things that help me: deep breathing and deep relaxation exercises, meditation, yoga, journaling, and walks. Make sure you are eating right and exercising.

Sleep is a huge issue for me. My anxiety keeps me up at night and when I get a poor night's sleep, the anxiety is worse in the day, so it becomes a never-ending cycle. I imagine caring for your four-month-old is not helping you in that department. Just remember that sleep deprivation is a big part of all this and that for you, at least, this may be a temporary phase in life. Hope that helps some!