Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
This past weekend I noticed Roomie being short with me and when bringing up Christmas dinner he said-I don't really care about doing anything. Im exhausted trying to read his mind. I got around to asking him why Im even around in his life. He said its nice to have a maid that keeps the house clean and does the laundry so he doesn't have to. I'm not sure how to take that. I'm incredibley lonely especially around the holidays. I think I might just cook dinner and whether he decided to participate is on him. I'm frankly exhausted trying to read his mind and emotions all the time. He either cares or he doesn't. The only time he ever makes any effort is when he thinks hes going to lose me. I told him the other day that I'm always feeling like I have to chase him and I don't like that feeling.
Yesterday I was in shorts and today the temprature has dropped alot. Holidays are bad for me. All these feelings Ive been having of late makes the new house seem not as exciting. I have moved away from Roomie twice and he continues to ignore me unless he gets a wild hair once every so often and wants to be close and even then I feel detached. I feel used.
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
Instead of focusing on how it is with someone else, first apply the question to yourself in order to find the balance before adding anything else and anyone else to the picture.
Make time for you. Do something for you. Be you.
Let the rest of it go.
Scott
But then I started thinking about your previous posts about him. Does he consider you his girlfriend/partner? I know you refer to him here as your roommate, and so maybe that is how he views you, as well?
Just asking. Wondering if it is because he is not seeing this as a romantic relationship at all. Something I think the two of you need to sit down and talk about. You need to know where you stand in all of this. If not for your own peace of mind.
Based on things you have posted before about your roommate and your relationship with him, it seems like now that the dust is settling from the move, it’s status quo.
Maybe I just need to stop doing the work. I agree with Candygurl in that I need to put myself around more people. Right now its just he and I. The only time I'm around anyone else is at work and I'm somewhat isolated in the back office by myself. I do think I need to work on myself more-my self esteem has been very low this last 2 years,
Everyone of us has daddy issues! I have observed. You said something really clearly. It is human nature to recreate the situations we were raised in. So either Roomie is treating you as your dad did, or you believe Roomie is doing that. either way you get to the same destination - that heartsick rut.
It is hard to climb out of there, but you can. Just tell yourself whenever you get that old feeling, this may or may not be happening as I perceive it, but in any case, I don't have to respond with those old feelings. Distract yourself, rinse, repeat.