Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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tainted by negative self talk

jaderpotater
jaderpotater

I just got off the phone with my therapist and we had a good conversation. I definitely showed up ready to talk about stuff, lol. The hard part though is actually applying and implementing everything we talked about. It's like I ride this "high" after the appointment and feel like I can handle myself and everything I brought to her. But after a day or so, I feel like I've taken steps backwards. I start to get weighed down by the mundaneness of life and get irritable, and then feel like shit for feeling that way. OR if I am feeling good for a steady amount of time, I will have "background anxiety" that says I'm going to mess up soon. I know messing up is normal, I just I feel like not doing well means I am hopeless (which is something I only apply to myself and not others).


The point is, it's one thing to talk the talk, and another to walk the walk. It's hard for me to be kind and gentle with myself. I don't know how to let myself just BE and LIVE MY LIFE because there is always some kind of critical/negative self talk and it's draining. I guess i'm just getting this out and wondering if anyone else feels similar?

peterthegreat
peterthegreat
Most people think negative about things. They do not even know they are like that. I think it will take years to correct these thinking. You need a coach to keep correcting your negative thourghs. Keep talking to your therapist. You can try other therapy like hypnosis and NLP.
arfie
arfie
Hello Jader. Welcome to DS.

It remains pretty high on my wish list for the do to be as easy as the say. Alas, humans are creatures of habit, as are most of Nature's creatures. Getting myself to leave off the negative self-talk and self-flagellation was/is no justy affair. The good news is that the more I practice, the better I get and the quicker I can catch myself before I can give myself too many black eyes.

Support helps. If nothing else, it helps to know I'm not alone with this irony.

Be gentle with yourself and patient with the process. It ain't as easy as it sounds.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
I also talk to my therapist by phone, and what helps me is to take notes during the whole session. Especially with any key points that she said. Then, I can read my notes later.

You could talk to your therapist about you wanting to work on negative self talk.

You could ask for two sessions a week (are you doing once per week now?)
Tropicaloo
Tropicaloo
I’m often feeling down on myself as well. It often comes from growing up with criticism or feeling you don’t deserve to be happy, when probably you deserve it as much if not more than many people. Try talking and praising yourself in the third person, like you would for a loved child.
Mindfulness and acceptance helped a lot. Trying to forgive myself is sometimes harder than forgiving others. My go to when things get bad is a cold pack on the forehead and YouTube videos about stoicism and Buddhist philosophy.
abcdefghijklmop1
abcdefghijklmop1
I could have wrote your post. I have been talking about making changes during sessions for years! Guess what ? I am still stuck.And yes, after I leave the session I feel that I can do it and the feeling disapears as the days go on.
More sessions is an option if your insurance allows it and if the therapist can justify the medical need .However, sometimes we need time in between sessions to do the work ( depending on the participlar case)
Other times, we just need other kind of therapy or therapist.I had 2 therapists in 5 years and find that the former one was not as helpful.
GirlinCalif
GirlinCalif
@abcdefghijk brings up a good point.

Did your therapist suggest working on anything? Therapy doesn't do a lot of good if you don't do your own work in between sessions. Do you have any assignments, things you're supposed to be working on? If so, doing these things during the week will really be helpful.

Therapy by itself is not a magic wand that is going to fix everything. Therapists are there to guide us... they can't *be* us. We have to do the work.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
The whole idea of therapy is the office visit is a specific amount of time. The rest of the time is your life, and you work on the assignments and keep track of what works and what does not.

A lot of people do not call them assignment and they do great with the 'talk' portion of the therapy. That's an excellent way to choose what you want to work on at home - the one that catches your interest.

Write it down to help you when you feel "...".

Welcome to the anxiety board at DS.
jaderpotater
jaderpotater
I'm not sure how to directly reply to everyone, but i appreciate all your responses! :) They are all helpful and encouraging.

I talk with my therapist every 2 weeks, and even though an hour every two weeks doesn't cover everything I want to talk about, it just works with my schedule rn because I'm a college student. We talked a lot about how I feel like I have to be critical because without that voice I don't have anything to "keep me in check." She said I feel like I need that voice because it's all I know at this point. She suggested to start by saying at LEAST 1 nice thing to myself each day and she also suggested medication (sigh).

Again thank you for the warm welcomes and support! Maybe today you could also say 1 nice thing to yourself ??????
Ash122
Ash122
The thought, itself, is typically not the issue. The obsession over the thought is. You need to try to train yourself to shut the thought down as soon as it happens. Look up how to write out a Probability Chart. I've found those very helpful. They're part of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. You can ask your therapist about it.
doughjane1965
doughjane1965
Do you know where this negative self talk comes from? Most times it is our childhood. There are loads of channels on YouTube to help with these challenges
doughjane1965
doughjane1965
Jaderpotater, If you're NOT on medications I suggest you do not start. Research BACH FLOWER REMEDIES. They work, are non-addictive and do not cause brain damage or suicidal thought. Once we get down to the nitty gritty as to WHERE all this negative self talk comes from, GET THAT OFF OUR CHESTS, then cure is imminent.......the CAUSE is the CURE. We need to keep moving forward!!!!!!
Prycejosh1987
Prycejosh1987
You have power to change your life and get the best out of life. Work on it and be very focused. Do what you need to do to see good results. The good life is hard to get but when we get it the hard work will be worth it.
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