I just got off the phone with my therapist and we had a good conversation. I definitely showed up ready to talk about stuff, lol. The hard part though is actually applying and implementing everything we talked about. It's like I ride this "high" after the appointment and feel like I can handle myself and everything I brought to her. But after a day or so, I feel like I've taken steps backwards. I start to get weighed down by the mundaneness of life and get irritable, and then feel like shit for feeling that way. OR if I am feeling good for a steady amount of time, I will have "background anxiety" that says I'm going to mess up soon. I know messing up is normal, I just I feel like not doing well means I am hopeless (which is something I only apply to myself and not others).
The point is, it's one thing to talk the talk, and another to walk the walk. It's hard for me to be kind and gentle with myself. I don't know how to let myself just BE and LIVE MY LIFE because there is always some kind of critical/negative self talk and it's draining. I guess i'm just getting this out and wondering if anyone else feels similar?
Right now, the anxiety is so bad it is a full blown attack. I can't think or breath or move and my mind won't let him go away.I caan't take much more. My narcopath husband of 2 decades is still in my head and I can't get past it. My inner child just screams constantly and is terrified. I have a master's degree in counseling and have my own business now about this kind of abuse recovery and yet ...
i consider overthinking to be a specialty of mine. especially at night. i can't concentrate on anything other than my thoughts and they usually make me feel terrible about myself or others that i care about. does anyone have any suggestions on how to calm my mind down? i've tried different podcasts, soothing music, journaling and sleeping with a tv show on.