Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I started journaling this week and came to a few realizations about myself. At first I thought there was no way that I would be able to fill a page up but wow I managed to fill up quite a few. It almost feels like I am venting to a therapist when I write everything down on the page. I realized that even though I put up a good front, I don't like myself very much. I'm angry at myself for letting my anxiety dictate my life so far and not being able to fight it.
But also I realized when I put it down on paper how many loved ones I have lost either from them moving away, passing away, or just flat out ghosting me in a short amount of time. I have lost 5 people in the span of 5 years.
One moved away for a better job and i'm happy for her because she's doing great but i really miss her and sometimes I wonder why I miss her so much but she doesn't seem to miss me.
Another ghosted me we had been friends for 10 years and she just stopped having anything to do with me and again I wondered why I was so easy to leave and not miss.
So now I am wondering if there is something wrong with me? Am I just not a memorable person or easy to leave behind? Is it because I am to easy going? Why am I so easy to not miss?
Anyway I think this is why I grasp so tightly to my family I hate when they leave me to go do things because deep down I think "maybe they just put up with me to and are waiting for a chance to" and that's one of the reasons I'll go shopping or go to the store or to the doctor apt with them because I have already been left or forgotten about by enough people I don't want it to happen again.
Maybe this is one of the reasons I get so anxious when left alone?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
I have found that people that leave have their own issues they are dealing with. Rarely does it have to do with you. If it was about you, they would probably get mad and tell you it's about you. So most likely, these friends left to do their own thing, made some new friends (sorry), and it just goes to show that you could be doing the same thing. Going out, meeting new people, expanding your life, etc.
That does make sense.... that you subconsciously feel that - well, my family can't leave me - so it feels safer to stick with them most of the time.
I know how you feel, I am the same way, about only feeling safe with a few choice people. They are not my family though. When you are out, with family, or whoever you are out with, try your best to talk to people, smile and say Hi, and maybe you will meet some people while you are out. Do you have friends that you feel comfortable going somewhere with? Not far, but to the corner coffee place, etc?
Hope the trend continues for you, Lomo. Journaling is, far and away, the most valuable tool in my psychotherapy toolbox.