I started journaling this week and came to a few realizations about myself. At first I thought there was no way that I would be able to fill a page up but wow I managed to fill up quite a few. It almost feels like I am venting to a therapist when I write everything down on the page. I realized that even though I put up a good front, I don't like myself very much. I'm angry at myself for letting my anxiety dictate my life so far and not being able to fight it.
But also I realized when I put it down on paper how many loved ones I have lost either from them moving away, passing away, or just flat out ghosting me in a short amount of time. I have lost 5 people in the span of 5 years.
One moved away for a better job and i'm happy for her because she's doing great but i really miss her and sometimes I wonder why I miss her so much but she doesn't seem to miss me.
Another ghosted me we had been friends for 10 years and she just stopped having anything to do with me and again I wondered why I was so easy to leave and not miss.
So now I am wondering if there is something wrong with me? Am I just not a memorable person or easy to leave behind? Is it because I am to easy going? Why am I so easy to not miss?
Anyway I think this is why I grasp so tightly to my family I hate when they leave me to go do things because deep down I think "maybe they just put up with me to and are waiting for a chance to" and that's one of the reasons I'll go shopping or go to the store or to the doctor apt with them because I have already been left or forgotten about by enough people I don't want it to happen again.
Maybe this is one of the reasons I get so anxious when left alone?
I’m suffering from sleep disorder, due to stress and anxiety. My chest will feel really heavy when I’m worrying about sleepi would get frustrated and have a panic attack. I can’t seem to relax...I don’t know If I’m also suffering from depression, because I feel really sad and upset everyday, I lost interest in things I used to like, I would feel hopeless and sometimes I would think my...
I am curious of what everyone thinks it's the funniest joke/skit ever done. For me it was Monty Python doing 'the world's deadliest joke' For the younger crowd, you should really watch some of the old Python shows. They were the 'beatles' of comedy