Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Many of you have anxiety and I appreciate your thoughtful words and advice. I have a spouse with anxiety and let me communicate some of my issues and frustration.
1. Get counseling People have said I need counseling and that's likely accurate. However, I need some way of communicating to my wife so things can get done. She is depressed and anxious and we waste an hour and a half trying to get her to therapy. Instead of spending 1 hour trying to get things done, we spend 5 hours wasting time.
2. Perception We went to a concert last night and I suggested a well-done artist tonight. She likes music. I showed her the ticket schedule which was reasonable, and she said oh, there's no good tickets. Are you F-ING kidding me, I'm working 80 hours a week, spend 25 hours addressing your illness, dealt with your stress and cancelled appt today, then find a concert hopefully to make you happy and you're carping at the tickets.
And if there is depression, then start working on the things to solve it, yoga, deep breathing, positive thoughts, monitoring medication, therapy, and STOP F-ING COMPLAINING ABOUT EVERYTING AND NOT DOING ANYTHING TO SOLVE IT. We have 2 Jennys, a competent, well-organized women who handled 2 children, worked and maintained a household for 25 years, and another one, who now gets stressed and anxious over everything and seems to take perverse joy in screwing up regular Jenny's life and causing me stress and to her, it's time to say, I'm sick of taking your crap, delayed or cancelled appts, laying in bed, therapy, useless moping around, FU, get out of our lives and bring regular Jenny back.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
but that is me and every case is unique. . .
more steadying support while you work it through, bobby.
attempted humor warning
i like donkeys. a female donkey is called, "a jenny." i almost got offended when you spoke of your "2 jennys." i caught myself in time.
As hard as it is, instead of playing along with her delays, her efforts of control, sit down, make a schedule with time limits.
This is for your well-being. You posted how long you spent '...' with her. Stop. Pause. Breathe. Option until calm and clear headed.
I suspect that for her, it's a game and it provides her active attention without effort.
So, take away the attention and take away the choice. Put her back into simple yes or no choices for herself.
And, this is very important, still go yourself. If it's something you enjoy, then go and enjoy it alone.
I had to tell my hubs that I needed to do a few things alone to figure out what my real issue was with something. In the treatment plan, an issue came up, and the homework assignment for me was to find an alternative to the usual pattern.
I wanted to do the treatment plan. So, I made sure I was able to go to the appointments by myself. I made sure to set it up for me.
It seems as if you are the one pushing for appointment. Thus, the time is 'wasted' to you.
Once you are calm and clear headed, figure out how you want to approach this problem of 'wasting time' and the choices to fix it.
One thing to remember, you're now experiencing anxiety through 'wasting time'. Schedule appointment for yourself with the idea that communication tools to improve your ability to move with the flow of anxiety instead of reacting to it.
For me, I did the CBT (cognitive behavior therapy) treatment plan with a year goal towards the biggest goal. I ended up having three years and only stopped because I didn't want to change therapists. I wanted to try it on my own, and be involved with online support group.
It's not a one tip fits all method. It's finding what works best to keep you calm. When you are calm and remain calm, it's harder for her to use her anxiety to create chaos.
Best wishes ! You are definitely not alone in this challenge.
If she can’t manage her time or wastes times, go about your business. If she is late to an appointment because of that, that’s on her. I know that’s hard but she will never regain accountability or independence if you are always there to make sure things happen. Your time is valuable so respect your time by not trying to manage all her stuff. It’s her responsibility.