Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
So I've made some progress this year. It all started with my brother dying end of January and I returned to work only to get bitched at, among others, over stupid stuff. I then began a downward spiral that resulted in me going back to counseling and going back to my OCD support group.
What progress have I made?
I got involved in cognitive distortions and worked out a piece of paper on me and listed the distortions I've had and was amazed. In one particular way I was guilty of extreme perfectionism. I listed the many things I have done right in my life including holding down particular jobs, raised and am raising a son, getting published as an author, and so forth and discovered that when I am worried about my job and losing it, I never see all the good things I have done. I only see the negative.However, having people leave me or being alone scares me and I found out that the reason for this is because I feel I constantly need people to need me and this validates me. if I am alone, nobody is needing me and there is no point of me existing. To go through life believing or thinking that nobody needs me scares me. It's fine now as I have a son at home who does, but if there is an empty house, then what purpose do I serve being here?
I know what it is that bothers me, but knowing this often doesn't alleviate that little voice inside my head.
just thought I"d share that.
What progress have I made?
I got involved in cognitive distortions and worked out a piece of paper on me and listed the distortions I've had and was amazed. In one particular way I was guilty of extreme perfectionism. I listed the many things I have done right in my life including holding down particular jobs, raised and am raising a son, getting published as an author, and so forth and discovered that when I am worried about my job and losing it, I never see all the good things I have done. I only see the negative.However, having people leave me or being alone scares me and I found out that the reason for this is because I feel I constantly need people to need me and this validates me. if I am alone, nobody is needing me and there is no point of me existing. To go through life believing or thinking that nobody needs me scares me. It's fine now as I have a son at home who does, but if there is an empty house, then what purpose do I serve being here?
I know what it is that bothers me, but knowing this often doesn't alleviate that little voice inside my head.
just thought I"d share that.
There are always people who will need you. It's about figuring out where you fit in.
As you said, your child needs you now. Once he's grown, you will have accumulated a great deal of knowledge and care share that knowledge to help parents who are struggling.
If that's not a fit for you, I'm sure there are a lot of other valuable skills you have that could help others. We live in a world where there is a great deal of need. People like you, who find great purpose in helping others, are a gift.
I did one exercise that helped a lot. I outlined the belief I wanted to change. Namely, that I felt I had no value if I wasn't being productive and contributing. Then, over a period of months, I listed all the things that proved I had value. Some of the "evidence" had to do with my value to others: I help my husband by supporting him and taking care of the house, errands, and groceries; I have a couple of friends that I helped out this year, I taught an art class to kids and they and their parents were very happy, etc.
I also listed things that showed my value in just existing: I make my husband happy just being me. Or another way of looking at it: If I take a walk and notice a beautiful flower, I'm showing my worth because I'm marveling at this one little piece of creation that perhaps no one else noticed. Another thing I like to say to myself: "I am the universe experiencing itself." Since we are all made of stardust billions of years old, this is literally true.
For a long time, I thought of my self-worth only in terms of whether everyone liked me or if I had enough achievements. But now I think your sense of worth must come from somewhere much deeper. Just sharing love for yourself and others might be enough and probably much more than anything material.