First - I am VERY proud of you for sharing this with us; its a big step and will help in your healing. If it helps, I'll share my story with you. I was sexually abused from the time I was 4 until the time I was 11. My grandfather (my father's father) lived with us in our home and he was molesting me in some horrible and very perverted ways. He always told me that if I told anyone he would kill me, and I believed him. Well one day he did something very violent and actually ruptured my uterus, I was 11. I went to the hospital and the whole thing came out into the open, or so I thought. Turns out my mother KNEW THE ENTIRE TIME. Not only did she know about it, but my grandfather was actually paying her for allowing him to do this with me. My own sick and twisted mother was selling her 4 year old daughter to a sick old man. People wonder why I hate my mother and hope she rots in hell. I have gotten a lot of counseling about it and am honestly healed from it, except for the memories I'll always have. No, I have not forgiven my mother or grandfather, and its not necessary to forgive to heal. Wrong is wrong, even if its family. I know it was not my fault and there was nothing I could have done differently. It's great that you know its not your fault and that it has to stop (I assume it has stopped?) and YES YES YES, you need to talk about it. When we hold these things in, they manifest into very unhealthy physical and emotional problems. You are right for thinking this is causing your anxiety; i'm sure it is. Talk to someone you feel safe with and who you can trust and if you have no one, call a crisis line; those people are wonderful and trained to be sensitive to delicate situations like this. I'm here to talk/listen anytime and can competely relate to the feelings you are having. The most important thing is to take care of yourself now and get the help you need to heal.

definately related. sounds like PTSD

I know its hard, but yes, please talk to someone you trust. I think once you start talking you will relax. Please also get counciling for this, so many people who have been abuised feel guilty, somehow blaming themselves. It is NEVER the person's fault who is being abused. Im very proud of you for speaking out, how strong you are. You hold your head up, take a deep breath and go talk to someone. Get help, dont do this by yourself. May God give you strength.

I too was sexually abuse from the age of 2-17. I have anxiety all the time because of it.
You did a very curagous thing, by bring it out in the open. Let me know if you would like to talk.

my ex-girlfriend was molested for many years. she got counseling and is a wonderful woman and mother. get your needed counseling and know that we here on ds care and want you to be very happy :)

After 8 yrs? dont you think its time someone Knows? if you can tell us , you can tell somebody , someone you feel close to and confine to, if you do? i believe thats your road to recovery , you took your 1st step here , now take that 2nd step hope you feel better soon

The two may be related, or not. But the experience (if it's over) will certainly impact your behaviors in the future if you don't discuss with a professional - on that matter, find a professional with experience helping victims of sexual abuse. And... remember, right now you don't have to tell *everyone*.

If it's not over, you absolutely must find someone you trust to tell, who can help you end it. Remember, it's not a burden you need to bear alone.

Back to the "are they related" bit... again, maybe maybe not. doesn't really matter... you should try to deal with them both regardless.

Good luck, you're strong enough to get through it I promise.