Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Separation Anxiety from boyfriend

KnuckleHead
KnuckleHead

Hello. My name is Jess and I am 21. I have separation anxiety from boyfriend and I dont know how to cope with it. We have been together for almost 4 years and we recently moved out of my moms house and into our own apartment. He works nights on the weekends and he has to be away some weekends for work as well. Latley he has been away quite a bit and I have found it very hard to deal with. I hate being alon ein the apartment especially at night and I am constantly overthinking which gets to be really overwhelming. I have been staying with my mom when he goes away but I know that doing that will never help me get used being alone when he has to go. I would really appreciate any suggestions on how to cope with the anxiety. Thanks!

arfie
arfie
Hello Jess. Welcome to DS.

I find my healthiest and most sustainable changes/coping tools when I make them in very small steps. You are currently coping by staying with your mom when he goes out. Would it be possible to stretch the time before you leave for your mother's by small increments? Ditto for leaving her house a little earlier? Increase your alone time in small increments, by however long you are comfortable with in any given week?

When I use the small steps approach to stretching my comfort zone, I take special care to be gentle with the process. Pressuring myself to keep an agenda and/or beating myself up for not progressing fast enough feeds my anxiety more than just about anything I know of.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
To add to Arfie's suggestion, add a new activity to learn. This will give you something specific to focus on, help distract your usual thought patter.

Be gentle with your feelings. Express them in a journal and then get moving.

Best wishes.
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