Hi I believe from your other posts you work at a job. That is hard to do even if it is not a career job. And raising children is hard. Scientists have discovered I read today heat continuously is not good for your brain. So that is probably why your feeling the way you are. Try to keep cool as much as possible and as you know if course drink a lot of water.

I would agree. Heat does a number on our psychology.
And if you would be willing to hear it from me, you are a great success story!!!!
Get cool first, drink lots of water and maybe use that self flagellating energy to do good stuff.

thank you, guys. i don't care to do the research, but i do believe that heat stroke kills more people every year than freezing to death. just believing. . .

this morning's work on the self-loathing is acceptance and detachment. even if i really am all the wretched things my low self-esteem are telling me, there are no "makeover guns" like they use in the girlie toons to instantly make me something other than what i am. small steps, big faith and lots of prayer

sigh. . .
i wonder if i can order one of those makeover guns that do something other than change costumes, hairstyles and face paints. can i beat up more bad guys with cutsie pictures on my fake nails? have i been watching too many girlie toons?

Your husbands does not support and encourage all the people on here. Every day you are here giving to us. The greatest hobby or the greatest calling one human can give to another. Remember that you matter.

thank you, hasty. the support and encouragement i give throughout my therapy support network pays MUCH higher dividends than the combined profits of the highest paying jobs i have ever held, as well as the highest yielding investments i have ever made.

I have issues with the heat too. It became serious affecting my decision making.We moved to a cooler region in NM. I am better. Take care of you.

i dream of moving to the equatorial andes mountains where the climate varies more by altitude than season. 12 hour days, 12 hour nights, 12 months a year with no big seasonal shifts rocked my world. i found my ideal climate at about 7,000 feet. higher was too cold, lower was too hot. give me a space between the extremes, please.

alas, here i am. . . stuck in the dust bowl again. . .

It's the heat Arfie!!! I think you're brilliant and have shared great wisdom countless times. I have a Juris Doctorate degree thats sits on the floor collecting dust. I've worked with presidents and attorney generals and at the end of the day....academic accredidation is really HOT AIR. Sadly, I've struggled the last month with whether I should toss my mom's degrees or keep storing them in the box that no one cares about :(

thank you, mel. if i am as wise and brilliant as my supporters keep telling me, it is not the product of magic or birthright. it is the byproduct of ongoing work and struggle. i've come a long way since my life in the throwaway kid camps, but the psycho snot knots of growing up in those camps are still with me and still in need of untangling. still plying therapy tools, despite the encouragement to rest assured on my proverbial laurels.

i respectfully disagree about academic accreditation being "just hot air." it is easy enough to find hot air balloons with advanced degrees, but i still see great value in learning and social development. humble folk with advanced degrees rock my world. emphasis on "humble." some of my most profound brothers and sisters-in-healing didn't tell me they held advanced degrees until i had known them a goodly while. the ones who need me to salute their framed papers on the wall before i know anything else about them give me visuals of the telluride balloon festival. hope your balloon wins the contest, wise one.

a day where i learn something is a good day.

I am a pro-woman woman but I value homemaking and mothering. I want you to start to see how valuable it is that you are raising these young ones. All the giving you do, the cleaning, the cooking, the wiping snotty noses or helping them with homework is more valuable than any other job in this world. You're helping these lovely children to become functional adults is the most highest calling in the world. Please no self loathing. You are so valuable in this world. You are needed, you have purpose in raising those children. No job, no education, nothing else is of the same value. They need you. We need you on here. Hugs to you.

way back when i was a construction boss (retired 1995), pro-woman women confused me more than the most single-minded of macho men, especially the ones from the legal/political professions. insert my rendition of the 1971 who classic.

meet the new boss
same as the old boss
with painted lips and youthfully tinted hair

these days i most often think of the pro-woman women while i am wondering if i should censor the girlie toons my two foster daughters (7 & 4) are watching. somehow i find it disturbing that they are learning from over made-up glitter dolls shoot one another with make-over guns. a new hairstyle, cosmetics and costume fixes everything. butttttaaaa. . .

this is me slinking off to the shadows of my truly remarkable man. what do i know? my aptitude is for math and science. politics confuse the unholies into me. assume me to be whatever gets **my** life working in **your** head. it is all the same to me. arguing with a fool only proves there are two fools.