Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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arfie 04/27/2021

Self-esteem is always a big subject in my own anxiety management. Self-abuse comes all too easily and it helps to remind myself often that I am worthy of love, just the way I am. When I can't love myself, I have no love to give the world around me. This morning's meditation read from "Courage to Change" resonated well on that score for me. Just sharing. . .

Begin quote

Self-esteem grows when I love and accept myself as I am. I block my own well-being each time I base my self-worth on what I do or what others think of me. If I could please all the people on the earth, if I could "straighten everyone out" and remedy all the difficulties they face, if I could make the world a perfect place --even then, I would probably still not feel good about myself. Indeed, I would have had to give up all my "self" to accomplish this impossible task.

I cannot be perfect. I cannot make others perfect. Yet I am worthy of love, respect and joy. Let me remind myself each day that I am the child of a perfect Higher Power. That, in itself, commands respect --my respect-- for the miraculous "self" I have been given. when I hold this at the forefront of my mind, I will not give up my "self" in the course of any endeaver.

Today's Reminder

Today, when faced with choices, I will opt for the path that enhances my self-esteem.

"I am learning to live a full life, one in which I like and care for the person I am." ~Anon

end quote.

HopingCxn 04/27/2021

Arfie, how is it that you always know what I need to read when you post these medidations?

Though I'm struggling to listen to this message today, and not just categorically reject it to fit along with the "resigned to the lonely way things are" mentality I have in recent days.

thank you.

arfie 04/27/2021

One of my personal favorite magics of the peer support network is how often our personal needs collide to form a greater good.

I, too, am struggling to remember that I have value in Coronaville. With the Corona mandates for isolation, being "resigned to the lonely way things are" is required by law. Are there any plans for managing the mental health pandemic? I feel like I'm watching 40+ years of psychotherapy be eradicated by our wise and benevolent leaders. How many flavors of "At Risk" are there in the human genome? Are the COVID casualties going to end up being the lucky ones before this is all said and done?

I miss live, unmasked support even more than I miss indecently exposed smiles.

Bluebird20 04/27/2021

Thank you Arfie, it was very insightful and helpful to me as well this am. Have a lovely day!

lighttheway 04/27/2021

Helpful words,thank you.For me self esteem issues are at the root of my anxiety.The fear I am bothering someone if I ask for help or ask for anything.The fear I'm annoying or unlikable.It keeps me in the house ,even on nice days when i want to be outside.
And these dr issues I'm having.Its all about self-esteem.Jeez know i'm worthy on some level of medical treatment and respectful treatment but I'm just expecting something with dread or like dread whenever I try to make an appointment.sigh.yeah some of its ptsd but the anxiety is the worst of that for me.
Gotta remind myself daily im ok the way i am.and believe it

arfie 04/28/2021

I, too, feel like my self-esteem issues are at the root of my runaway anxiety. Sometimes I go to the other extreme and believe the world would be a perfect place if y'all would just get wise and elect me Queen of the Universe. "Delusions of Grandeur" was the official dx for those phases. On many, many levels, that manifestation of damaged self-esteem are more problematic than the opposite extreme of feeling unworthy to come in from the wilderness. Balance in all things.

I solidly believe that the fear of bothering people by asking for help is more than a feeling. Not everyone is in a position to be ready, willing or able to help. On the days where my self-esteem is healthy, that is a fact of life which is no more tragic than discovering a bakery doesn't have the car parts I need to get my vehicle up and running. It's okay to ask. Bakers often work on their own cars and you just never know. "No." is a valid and honorable answer. Onward through the inconvenience.

Equally, when someone asks me for help I am not in a position to offer, I can say, "No" with gentle compassion and prayers that they find what they need. I doesn't need to close the bakery to help them find car parts.

lighttheway 04/28/2021

so true,and this"feeling" of bothering people .Of being annoying came from somewhere.It had to have been a series of negative experiences for me.A few stand out sure from my childhood.And doctors are not always nice.Sometimes they are downright miserable.
But on a positive note.Many people do care.Many people enjoy helping others and sometimes I can be helped and likable.Im not sure I believe that,but I'm tell myself it anyways
ahh the panic.Of not being helped when I need help.......

arfie 04/28/2021

Being able to help people is the strongest boost to my self-esteem I've ever found, but it all too often ends up in heroic incompetence which puts more dings in my self-confidence than being verbally abused. Being helped by heroic incompetence is even worse.

The ability to compassionately just say, "No" is both a time and ego saver for all.

I empathize with the panic of not being helped when I need help, but those have ultimately played through to some of my greater self-esteem builders when I discovered I really **can** do whatever I was so convinced I couldn't do on my own. Other times it played through as proof of the old axiom that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.

hikerjim7 04/28/2021

I can relate, especially to being reluctant to ask others for help. I am often overwhelmed with memories of regrets. They are mostly of times I have been insensitive, and then I look back and think how those others must have been hurt and I didn’t even realize it. I visualize myself as a “bull in a china closet” who has brought inconvenience to a lot of people, and that must be why I feel unworthy to “bother” other people and “waste their time” by sharing my problems. The devotion you quoted mentioned a “higher power” and I do actively seek help from above. I tell myself that I am created in God’s image, and that God loved me enough to cover all my regrets with forgiveness. I mention the people by name and say God, please cover the wound I have caused them, and please help them to have fulfilled and joyful lives. That usually does clear the air for me until the next time I am flooded with regrets.

arfie 04/28/2021

I, too, am a praying soul who believes in praying for forgiveness. My self-esteem is damaged enough that I can beat myself up over anything and somewhere along the line, quite a few brothers and sisters-in-healing, alongside several pros have pointed out that I was praying to be forgiven sins where I was not the sinner. Additionally, I was still praying for forgiveness for sins that had long ago been forgiven and missing the lesson to be learned for the sake of continued self-flagellation.

Gloss over allot of yaddah blahs and a decade or three and when I catch myself sliding back to that regret mode, my prayer is:

Dear God, I am so sorry
For always being so sorry
For the constant doubt
Which leads me to pout
Over lessons left to learn

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