Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
A major thread of my strictly personal, just-a-patient psychotherapy has been the diffs between "Running To" vs. "Running From." My social anxiety is utterly convinced that I will never fit in anywhere and the rejection process is so painful that I reflexively reject before I can be rejected. I "Run From" the threat. More than once I was unable to check my flight reflex before I was in a country where the language barrier made it a clear and simple fact that nobody understood me.
I need to tend long neglected business up in the River Region but the family politics on the South Plains have me feeling like I cannot tend that business unless I "Run From" their business. None of those family members are in the same business, so my role in *their* business is as clear as bureaucratic compliance.
Sigh. . .
If anybody understands what the fuck I am talking about, insight needed. ^It^ made more sense in last millennium's therapy rooms than it does this week. Am I lost in metaphor again? Have the psych apps been upgraded to the next level of new and improved?
Prayers and support needed and appreciated.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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First, I hope everyone is doing well, and continuing to fight that good fight! Keep up the great work on yourselves; I'm rooting for all of you!So, I started doing therapy at the beginning of the year, when I was in my most depressed state, but with my therapist, I made big changes and steps in the right direction. But, over a month ago, she couldn't take my insurance anymore, and I had to stop...
Around mid semester, a student counselor caught me while I was bouncing off walls while trying to remember which class I needed to be in. Her kindness got me through the semester, but her opinion was that sometimes running from is the best available option. She passed the thread to another student counselor some 1800 miles away. There were several other now-outdated psych theory yaddahs in between.
The family I gave birth to has serious problems, but I still want them in my life. Even on the days they are calling me mean names, I still want them in my life. Even on the days they are calling me loving names, I still have a life of my own which needs tending.
Works in progress. . .
But back here in that confusing time between naps (reality), if I left to the boo's and hisses of the day, I would be running from the boo's and hisses far more than running to the business in my beloved River Region.
Which rabbit hole did I fall down this time?
Can I be boring now?