I will be watching this thread closely...lol.
I always seem to think of the right thing to say about 2-3 days afterwards!
I went through this with my mom last week......and just thought of the perfect comeback yesterday *rolls eyes.

I have encountered this often and, in the past, it also increased my anxiety. I, like you, do not shy away from confrontation but was taught that confrontation about certain things is unacceptable - like when it is a respected Dr., teacher, elder...oh hell, I was taught to shut my mouth around everyone because I shouldn't make waves. After all, it's much better that I'm angry and hurt then someone else...right? Not any more.

My take on why people are snarky lately is because most people seem to be sooo angry right now. Plain and simple people are pissed. They are pissed that they are not paid more. They are pissed they have to work so many hours. They are pissed they have to take up the slack because their boss is unwilling to hire someone else or they have co-workers who do nothing. Please remember this is just my opinion based on the people I have encountered in my life.

Here is how I deal with it. First, I've just been through what is known as the healing process from when I was sexually abused as a child - as well as many other things too. During this process I learned that everyone on this planet is carrying around baggage from when they were kids (or from last week, from their divorce 2 years ago....). And this baggage gets very heavy over time if you don't unload it through the healing process. I have also learned, because my therapist is an excellent teacher, that this baggage has helped to form who the person is. So now I sit back for a minute and ask "why would this person be angry at me for something they did wrong?" and the answer is that I truly don't know without getting to know the person but I can guess...
-- Their boss may yell at them when they make a mistake. Many people were yelled at as children when they made a mistake so this person (in the Dr's office in your post above) doesn't like to admit when they make a mistake. If you remember when you were a child or when your own kids were small their first reaction was "I didn't do it. Billy did it". Well, this person at the Dr's office just did that same thing. They reverted back to some old behavior, a behavior that probably saved their hide once or twice, so she learned that this tactic works.

Once I realize this I then make a decision: Can I let this go or is it important for me to defend myself - because I have my own baggage with me that tells me I need to stand and fight. Sometimes I do fight for my side but I do it without anger - something my therapist taught me. She was excellent at teaching me how to chose my words to get the results I wanted. Especially with my mother...but that's another story for another day lol.

Sorry this was long. And, please please please remember that this is just my opinion on things.

I agree with MsBlank1, I will also be watching this thread closely.

You are so onboard here. sometimes its better not to fight the system although frustrating as it may seem...just let it go.

I had a similar situation with my physician office and my son. He needed a physical..he was 15 ...I sent him by himself...he said. he stood in a line for 30 minutes then was told that he was late for his appointment and to make another one then they tried to charge me for the missed apt. ... I kept my cool...the next apt I was there..but did not walk in with him wanted to see what occurred and the same thing did..needless to say it was remedied right there on the spot...did not have to get mad..I told them who I was...his mom - what I witnessed what had previously occurred and that my son needed an apology .. Not sure why this person did that ..but I bet she thought twice about it ..

Thanks all. I appreciate your thoughts and feedback.

It makes sense that this is a challenging issue.

Unfortunately, I run into this fairly frequently with physicians. Not the doctor per se but more the office staff.

One office person told me that I could not get in to see the doctor that I see each month until my insurance was sorted out. I tried to work with her on it but she was adamant that I could not get in until it was all figured out. I suggested she call insurance, etc. Anyway, I finally worked it out with the doctor but she was just power tripping.

The receptionist at my regular dr is a nightmare to everyone. She is just downright mean and incompetent. So I'm writing to my dr. about her.

Then this most recent one.

But I appreciate the insights and welcome more.

Grouchy, grouchy people!

I bet Oscar The Grouch from Sesame Street was their favorite character :P

I truly believe some of these ppl that hurl insults or are Know-it-alls/busy body's who feel it's their place to run on at the mouth have broken filters.....therefore, crap just falls out of their mouths at random!
I have found that you just can't change stupid or crazy no matter how hard you try!

I'm so glad you posted this because I'm having an interpersonal problem myself right now. I've complained about my neighbors on here before. Well, they are moving back to the states and they left their house, but then they moved their whole family (two adults five kids and a dog) in with the couple on the other side of us temporarily. For months there's been this roving party between all these houses. They all know each other and just want to sit outside and be loud and get drunk. I think the only thing that stops them from doing it every night is that they are too hungover.

At any rate, my husband has had to ask them to keep it down several times, so then I went to the landlord to tell him about it. I said we couldn't open our windows because they are so noisy and it gets hot in the house (german houses don't have air conditioning and it's hot here right now).

They've been quieter, but I had to close the windows again last night, mostly because the cigarette smoke was blowing into our house. Just after I closed it I heard the main instigator say loudly "oh, because we're outside, they have to close all their windows."

I stewed about it all night. I wanted to yell something back at her, but I didn't think of anything on the spot and also i think it would have been a big confrontation and she would have won, because she is the kind of person who goes around looking for a fight and thrives off of it if she gets it. I mean, what would be the point, really? She and her little sheep will never change. They will move some other place and torment their neighbors there and she'll never admit that there's something wrong with her life.

So I guess my point is that sometimes when you get on people's level you just give them more power (because they thrive on the conflict) while it takes something out of you. I think the best thing is to just make the appropriate complaints through channels and take your business elsewhere if things don't change. For us, we got confirmation from out landlord that we're finally going to be rid of our local party animals on Monday (he wasn't happy that they were all living in the house next door, which he owns.) I'm almost crossing off the days on the calendar.

Just awful, awful people all around.

Judy ~ I live next door to Mexico and across the street is Poland. Both of those peeps are huge party folks. I have had to call the police on both of them on several occasions.
They all get so drunk and loud and their music is enough to drive me crazy. The Polish ppl live behind a huge privacy fence and their music was so loud that when I called the police.....it was so loud over there that when the police turned on their siren to try and get their attention so they could get them to open their gate.....you couldn't even hear the siren. It's so sad as they have subjected their small children to hearing loss as well as teaching them that life is all about partying!
It is all so unnecessary and becuz I call the police regularly......I'm on the poopy list as a party pooper. I really don't care what they think. There are only 4 houses on our block and they don't care how I feel or that I work and need my sleep.
I think God loves Crazies.....He made so many of them :P

You guys are making me feel lucky to be living where I'm living. I have terrific neighbors. Most of the time, I run into nice people but from time to time there are jerks.

I do want to work on snappy comebacks when appropriate but I think you all are right that you have to pick your fights.

I have trouble with my neighbors as well. I feel that I have to have snappy comebacks ready just walking out into my own yard. That's so disheartening. It just makes my social anxiety that much worse.

I tend to get crabby when people do not do what they are hired to do in a competent way. We have wonderful neighbors (only now the name of one) on only one side of our house. I believe the best neighbor is the one I just wave at. As long as I know our house is our castle, I'm good dealing with most all other.

@Judy, I believe I remember a post of yours sometime back. My heart goes out to you my dear. Living with a conflict between neighbors is the pits. I been in that situation too. We moved.

Thanks, Canaan. :) Well, these people are moving away forever on Monday, so I guess it's not so bad. I think this area will go back to being much more quiet after they leave. Another couple who were their friends and party buddies are also leaving in a couple of months.

@MsBlank, I don't think I could stand it where you live. I have always been pretty sensitive to noise and especially to music. It drives me out of my mind. I don't know if it is part of my anxiety or what. It sounds like your neighbors make mine sound like model citizens.

@ MsReed, one alternative to the snappy comeback, if you can't think of something right away, is to look at someone squarely, smile in a friendly and confident way and just speak clearly and forcefully in the most professional way possible. You can kind of lift an eyebrow or narrow your eyes in an "I-suffer-no-fools" kind of way. I've been able to use this when I've had to deal with difficult people in my job or life. It really works, and they tend to feel foolish and back down, because you are staying way above their level and not playing their game. It might not always work, but it will feel better for you.

OMG.....this is so funny for me because I never heard this term "Snarky" before three weeks ago and I now use this word to disarm folks.

Three weeks ago I was looking at a new house being built. There was some children running around in this structure playing and I didn't want them to get hurt so I told them to stop because of this danger. A little girl walked up to me and said, "Your not my mother, so you can't tell me what to do!". Another woman looked down at this girl and said "Aren't you a snarky one...that's not the way to talk". This little girl immediately stopped and left the house. Hahaha...completley stopped the behavior.

A week later my husband and I got into a disagreement and he started to point the finger, so to say. I immediately remembered how the word Snarky worked on the little girl...so I said to my husband "Do not use that snarky tone with me". He went to say something else and again I said forcefully..."Do not use that snarky tone with me". He stopped immediately and walked away! Hahaha..I couldn't beleive it. My husband and I rarely get into arguments thank God, but, you better beleive I will keep this Snarky statement in my back pocket.

I really appreciate the feedback and advice - including using the phrase "You're being snarky."

It is such a funny little word and is quite disarming rather than telling people they're being jerks (or worse).

I guess it's a common condition though - having to deal with poop heads out in the world. I'm finding the more I'm out, however, the more people are really pretty decent most of the time. You get a poop every now and again but more nice folks. It's proving to be a pleasant surprise.