Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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ChristianWhovian
ChristianWhovian

This has been a really hard month for me.


The dogs we were fostering had to leave.


Our gerbil we've had for almost four years passed away.


Then my friends mom passed away. My friends are only fourteen and are now motherless. They've been expecting it for a long time because she had a brain tumor, but they are really sad. So is my mom, who was friends with their mom. The call they sent us telling us the news has been seared into my brain and I keep playing it over and over in my head.


Then my best friend told me something (Personal) and she said I have to do certain things when she's around to make her comfortable, even if it doesn't make me comfortable. What's she asking me to do is against my standards and my religion. She threatened to end our friendship if I don't. We just started to get together every other Friday to watch our favorite shows and film skits together and then swim. I don't want to stop what we've had since I was nine. She's my best friend. I really don't know what to do. My grandpa, before he passed away a few years ago, told me to walk away from friendships that aren't a good influence on me. But she's my best friend. I only have one other friend besides her and she's dealing with the loss of her mom.


I'm also dealing with the Anxiety of my parents planning on taking my sister and I to Utah and then Idaho where they will drop us off with someone in our family for 1-2 months. I don't even know who we're going to stay with. I'll be seeing a doctor up there, which I've needed for over two years, and will possibly be getting answers to some questions I've had for half a year which is one good thing. Still, my parents keep arguing about who should take us in when I really just want to stay with my grandma and aunts and meet my two, now toddler, twin cousins I haven't been able to meet yet. The rest of my family has been able to meet them, but not me.


Also, next week is Girl's Camp. They're trying to make me the Youth Camp Leader even though I'm not old enough yet. I can't talk to a leader because my Social Anxiety is really strong. I'm having a really hard time trying to convince my mom not to make me go. Especially now that my mental health is so bad.


I've been really depressed lately. REALLY depressed. Usually thinking about the best day of my life helps, but it only helps for a few minutes now and then I'm back to being really depressed. Watching Studio C helps a LOT, but then my parents get mad because I'm watching TV. It's been a long time since I've been depressed and now it is hitting hard and it is horrible. I lost two dogs and a gerbil and I might lose my best friend, my friend lost her mother, I'm really scared about camp, and my parents are leaving me in a different state for about a month or two and I don't even know who we are staying with.


I really don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice they can give me? I really need help.

gratefulgrandma123
gratefulgrandma123
I'm really sorry that u had to let go of the dogs u were fostering & that your gerbil passed away & your best friend's mom passed away. Re your friend who wants you to do things u don't feel comfortable doing. I wouldn't do what makes you feel uncomfortable. She is not being a friend if she is making you do things you don't feel comfortable with but if your friendship with her is more important then you'll have to decide what you want more to have your friendship and do things that make you feel uncomfortable & to ignore what you believe in or to lose your friendship & not have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. Re: the camp I think talking to your mom like you are doing regarding your feelings about camp is the right thing to do. You can tell your mom how uncomfortable you are with it and if she still makes you go then do the best you can at the camp and find things to help you to feel comfortable when you visit your half sister & try to feel comfortable. Maybe do some meditation, read or watch t.v. & try to make the most of it when you are there.
rmb
rmb
Those losses are hard. I remember when I was around your age and one of my friend’s mom unexpectedly passed away. It was the first time I’d known someone who died. It was really unsettling, especially when going over to her house and her mom wasn’t there. I really felt so bad for my friend and her whole family.

It’s a lot to process and the impact is pretty massive. Just try to take things a moment at a time.

As far as your friend asking you to do things that make you uncomfortable, all I can say is stay true to yourself. Friendships go through transitions, especially friendships formed in childhood. It’s hard to see friends going in different directions. Sometimes friends grow together again and sometimes they don’t. For me, I found keeping an open mind and heart while still being true to myself has rarely steered me wrong. Being true to myself keeps me grounded but being open helps me both let go with love and also embrace new experiences and new friendships.
arfie
arfie
i'm thrilled to hear you have a best friend, christian. i was worried that the depth of your isolation habits didn't allow for such. i hope you can be there for her while she processes her tragic loss.

as for the summer plans, i hope you'll seize those plans as an opportunity to stretch your comfort zone. social isolation is a cruel master which only grows more cruel with time. watching tv alone is not much of a life.

just opining. . . continued support while you decide what is right for you.
Bluebird20
Bluebird20
hi, Christianwhovan I am sorry About the loss of your pets. The loss of your friend's Mom. The depression and sadness your feeling. It can be hard to try new things or go out of the famliar I think you might like camp. They may have new activities you never experienced before and you'll feel better. As far as the friend trying to make you do things your not agreeable with, trust yourself and don't do anything against your true self or beliefs. Maybe you can share with your Mom what she said not to tell anyone, And she can reinforce what you already think is not right for you. I hope it helps a little
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