Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
hello. I am Alex. I am a trans male and my parents don't support me. I'm scared of going out in public with my parents because what if I see someone i know and they call me he-him. My parents always correct people of my gender (to she-her) no matter who I'm with. I get constant anxiety moments when I'm going in public. I don't know how to get them to support me. Or to guide them to using my preferred name and pronouns. Does anyone have any advice for me?
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Today I filed an application online for three things from the State of New Jersey. I surprised myself! I wasn't expecting to do it but one thing led to another and I did it. I've been putting it off. Another thing that I'm feeling good about is my outside kitties. They aren't running away anymore and let me get quite close. Two of them were relaxing on my steps a little bit ago. I...
this issue. I would look online for others in your situation so you could
support each other.
(Background, 30 years ago I decided that I hated "Patty" and decided to go by "Pat". What I found out is that male/female is pretty much the first thing that people try to figure out about others. When they're not sure, they'll usually default to male...under the idea that it's less offensive to call a woman "he", than it is to call a man "she". People (usually) don't really care...they just want to know what to say. I went back to going by Patti.)
You can do it a couple ways:
1) One might be to lump it in with a bunch of other physical characteristics:
Alex Smith, 24 years old, male, address 408 West Main Street
or Alex, 5' 10", male, brown hair, blue eyes
2) If you're with your parents...correct them back. "Please forgive my parents, they're still adjusting to my Male Identity. I keep telling them that respect is calling people by the name that they wish to be called, but they understandably, still see me as through the identity they first had of me. I love them to pieces. What's the name that you wish to be called?"
3) Alex, as in Alexander the Great, not Alexandria
***I'm open minded, but old. Sometimes I forget that "trans male" means that you want to be male, and not the other way around. All three ways I put it...make it clear that you want to be considered Male. Which tells me to use "he/him".
Anyone (other than your parents, or their friends), who uses "she" is being an jerk. It won't seem like it now, but it really is nice to know who those people are right away. Life is a whole lot happier without them in your life.
Parents get a break because it really does take time to adjust. Give them a good 5 years.***