Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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scottyb865
scottyb865

so i had a major breakdown at IOP class last night. I had said in a post that i had a problem happen over the weekend. Well i went to my to grandmothers house like ever day but something didnt feel rite. Grand dad isnt doing great but better than most. Well tht day he wasnt at all. Well his body was almost lifeless at 4:13pm on sat. the nurse came out before then and said its just leg cramps. That whole day i kept saying yall need take him to E.R. and fast well no one listen this was before 4:13 that day. He cant talk goodanymore but i understood he words please please all day and the words help me help me help. no one else was seeing death but me. well it got so bad that he started to rattle in his breathing then they finally called the place back and said we are sending him to the E.R. He was having tremors and his eyes rolling back in his head and uncontrolable movments gasping for air it was bad well the first responders got there and treat us and him very badly. but he made to the ER in time and is home now as of yesterday. im happy but now have to live with something that for me will be hard to get to go away. When something happens like that or close to i relive that moment over and over whe nim awake and asleep. ive had that problem for ever. i still relive past events from way back and nowwone of my fear of losiing someone close i have to relive now over and over and also now i have to be ready for when it does but its going to be a double dose of it . but anyway it let to me relapeing on my DOC the night that happen to my grand dad and now i feel like crap. after 6 years of being clean i still broke. so any one who said they look up to me and all the people ive helped and said good job and things to well ive let them down 6 year clean and i broke . now i only used that one time after this happened i didnt think he would be coming back home .......No worrys im good now and so is he im just upset with my self cause ive not only let my sef down and everyone else and also it effefts my mental state as well and everything i have wrong so now more fear are building up and im scared that if that broke me that bad what will happen when it really does happen

Community LeaderMid
Mid
Forgive your self and move forward.

Work on extra tools to help you stay in the moment.

Best wishes.
arfie
arfie
Great to hear that everyone is doing better at Grandma's house.

Hope the IOP group is supportive and that you can be gentle with yourself in the aftermath. It's not about being perfect. It's about working it out.

Gentle support while you recover.
SimpsonsOK
SimpsonsOK
Scotty, heart goes out to you for you knowing what grandpa needed and nobody listening. Sounds like the PTSD is flaring. As far as the slip, it is an important part of your story. It gives you a new start date, but shows your strength in stopping rather than staying out there. What an example for others of how to deal with a slip, and that addiction patiently waits for all. . You still have all the past wisdom that working your program earned you. Between the DS snafu, and the events at your grandparents, you were emotionally unhinged, and made a mistake. Others know you gave solid advice and support. Set a plan now for what to do next time instead of using. Accept the support others want to give. Supportive and comforting hugs.
bunnyhabit
bunnyhabit
glad to hear due to your persevering your grandad made it to the ER and is safe now. don't beat yourself up for relapsing as it will stress you out and lead to heavier nightmares and yearning to space out again. just make sure DOC is not easily available. your willpower seems strong to me so praying for your starting another long period of independence.
TheWay1
TheWay1
Hey Scotty! I was in the same boat a couple weeks ago. I was with my Grampa "who had cancer". Within 3 days... We went from playing guitar and singing together.. to him on his death bed. I was with him when he took his last breath and it has stuck with me like the stuff that happened with you. So, I know where your coming from. I will be praying for you and we will get through this stuff together. We will only get stronger.
scottyb865
scottyb865
thanks
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