I am so sorry! You must miss them terribly. 12 hours is a very long drive alone. I don't think that is a realistic plan. Your options are, have someone go with you, take the train, take a bus, or incentivize them to come to you. You can work on your driving triggers but it probably will take a while to work up to that size of a trip.

What about mapping your journey out on paper with specific directions? Perhaps your daughter could help you with specific directions? You don’t specify exactly why driving makes you anxious. Candy has made a good suggestion too about taking alternative transportation. I know I get anxious driving, my main problem is knowing which lane I need to be in and making a wrong turn causing me to get lost. I’m a country girl, not having much experience driving on major highways with multiple lane changes, etc. Give me old fashioned country roads any day.

I am sorry this is so hard. It is awful, because driving makes you anxious and the anxiety makes you more likely to make mistakes which in turn reinforces the anxiety. A vicious circle.

You could do what I did and just drive anyway, but that could have been a disaster, I was lucky. I think a better option would be trying another option as said before. That way you are safe even if you’re feeling anxious outside of your circle.

Your daughter must not understand your feelings, which is fair, but maybe try to explain it to her. Maybe she would be able to come to you, and even drive with you? I know my mom did that for my gran, she flew to her and they drove back together, stayed the night somewhere on the way, made a trip of it. It is hard with people being so busy nowadays, but a good option if possible.

Welcome to the anxiety board at DS.

Here's what I did. I mapped out the route, including a rest stop every hour. I made a container with snacks and drinks. I got in the car, and marked the path as I drove.

As mentioned, you can try alternatives as well.

However you do it, plan it and move forward with the plan.

Your circle of comfort zone is good to know about.

The goal here is to visit your daughter and granddaughter. You are independent and able to do things on your own. This is a gift to give yourself!

hello papasgirl. welcome to ds.

driving anxiety is not on my personal list of problems --i love driving-- so at considerable risk of flaunting my ignorance. . .

when faced with conflicting emotions, i put the focus on what i WANT. desire is a powerful motivator. you miss your daughter and granddaughter. that is a mighty fine focus for finding your way. where there is a will, there is a way.

so opineth the clueless nitwit. . .

i mostly wanted to welcome you aboard.

I would suggest you to take some other mode of transport. 12 hrs is too much.

I appreciate everyone's thoughts on public transportation but that doesn't work for me at all. Flying would be perfect but no way that is happening that I wouldn't even attempt.

If you have navigation in your car or phone, like google maps, or something like that, practice with plugging in a short destination and get used to listening and viewing the step by step guide for the trip. That helps me when I’m driving on the expressway or freeway and am not familiar with the route, lanes or exits.

I used to hate driving years ago but then I got a job where I had a long commute every day and it really ended up making me enjoy the time in the car. I love driving now. It actually now find it relaxing and I think the focus required when driving helps clear a lot of clutter out of my mind.

My brother gets panic attacks when driving on highways and freeways. He takes medication to help with that. He lives 8 hours away and when he and his wife visit, she drives.

Hope you find a solution that works for you.

I think it can be overcome. I had a fear of bridges (a little reluctant to write this for fear it could crop back up again). But I just confronted it, and it has dramatically diminished, I was driving slowly in the middle lane. Also safer bridges and roads helped, so perhaps just stay on a main highway.