Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
One thing I do know about myself is that my anxiety brings on my OCD tendencies. I spent all day cleaning, painting, organizing. All because I am super anxious about how my X is going to be when he find out that I have claimed our child on my taxes this year. According to the divorce it is my year to claim him, so I haven't done anything wrong. But for the last four years I have let him claim our child on his taxes because he would claim to share the return, except that never happened. There was always something that would come up or he would just plain out lie to me about the amount he was getting back. Well this year I didn't even consult with him. We aren't on talking terms, and if I had discussed the fact that I was going to file my own taxes then it would've been a miserable endless amount of nasty email. Emails I am expecting any day now when he finds out that I claimed our child.
I have always had small amounts of OCD tendencies from a young age. Mainly small things. I have always been clean, organized, good grades, over achiever I guess is what they call me. I go above and beyond at almost everything I do. Not for anyone else but my myself.
But after our child was born with health issues my OCD/ANXIETY got a lot more extreme as I had to then be concerned with germs and time schedules for medication and such. I was our child care taker/nurse.
I wish I could learn how to slow it down some....both the OCD & ANXIETY.
I have always had small amounts of OCD tendencies from a young age. Mainly small things. I have always been clean, organized, good grades, over achiever I guess is what they call me. I go above and beyond at almost everything I do. Not for anyone else but my myself.
But after our child was born with health issues my OCD/ANXIETY got a lot more extreme as I had to then be concerned with germs and time schedules for medication and such. I was our child care taker/nurse.
I wish I could learn how to slow it down some....both the OCD & ANXIETY.
I am very dedicated to yoga. When the little voice in my head tells me I don't have time for yoga and I have a million other more important things to do today, I tell myself that yoga is the most important thing on the list. It is essential to schedule things for yourself, especially relaxing, healthy self-care.
Just doing that will help you slow down, I think.
With this I want to say that it took me real long to get just about where I let things bounce off. It takes time and mental effort, but the alternative ruins large parts of our time/life.
For me faith is the way to go, blocking out all the fears that the evil one bombards us with. I talk loudly to myself, "Stop it, Loretta, right now!!!!" Or I say loudly, "go away!! devil!!!" It is a fact that there are good and evil forces. Try to hold on to the good with a firm grip. Seeing notes all over that you put up, notes to remind you WHO is in control and that you need fear no human being. Scripture says in Jeremiah 29:11 : "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
You have a future WITHOUT having to hear your ex.
I worked as care giver for 10 years. Not a good job. I had to learn to let things bounce off. You are young and I BELIEVE you'll get there sooner than you think.
Trust Almighty God, He is an awesome God and loves you.
You are on my prayer list. There is power in prayer.
Lots of love. God bless you.
Sorry to here about the stress brewing between you and your Ex.
I have a suggestion that may help you to overcome this situation and other to come in the future. This will be difficult at first and will be something to work on. It is also something that many many many of us who experience issues with anxiety have difficulties with. What I am referring to is becoming assertive. Being assertive is NOT being aggressive. Assertive is telling your ex what you need to do and what is right to do with out feeling guilt, remorse or fear.
Assertive is being true and respectful to yourself and your child because that is the right thing to do. It takes practice kiddo....I let people walk all over me before I realized it was something that I too could possess. I was always amazed when some one could say what the mean and mean what they say. I would just sit there and shake for fear some one would get mad at me or make me feel worse than I already did if I stood up to someone. Guess what though.....as I learned to be assertive....my confidence grew. I know tell it like it is....no body walks on me anymore. Learn more about this.....then you will be able to teach your wonderful little child the same things so that they grow up confident too!
My best to you!
That is great advice. Being assertive is something I have been working on for a couple years now. Of course my X see's me being assertive as either being mean or being a control freak. I simply tell him no....I am just doing what's right. As far as being the "new me" I have worked on and gained a huge amount of self confidence. I still struggle with my X's react to the new me. I am not sure why? I don't live with him anymore or even much care to have him as a friend. So I still don't understand why I always revert back to the "Old me"...being scared of his reaction.
A work in progress I am....everyday I find a new way to work on myself. Fifteen long years of being under his every emotion and works takes awhile to get over and through the tunnel to freedom I guess??
Thank you!!!
To answer your question as to why you revert back to your..."Old Me". It is because your brain has made that a habit. Keep challenging those thoughts when they come up.....you are so much stronger then those incorrect thoughts. You are no longer..."Old Me"....you are...New Me...who is building confidence and standing up for what is true and right for yourself and your child. Great Job....you go girl!