I'm very sorry for your current state of unhappiness. I'm not an MD or therapist, but the symptoms you describe sound like it could be OCD. If you do not want to go the medication route, I imagine there are books you can read with suggestions on how to deal with this condition. But even if you don't want meds, you can still be diagnosed by a professional. Take things one step at a time. I'll pray for you.

I fought using meds for a very long time but saw myself change from rational to strange ,then realized I was not in the same situation as, say, 5 years before. Our stressors change, we may become less able to cope over time, our bodies don't react like they used to...had to accept meds or it was a rollercoaster ride. Took years of fighting it..finally had breakdown, let my family and relevant people know I was having trouble, saw psychiatrist who worked through testing this and tweaking that and finally, finally got leveled out and accepted that I needed meds......hard fight but you will find people who can relate and if hubby is not accepting, stop being ashamed and tell them that this is the way it is and they will love you anyway and understand this is what you need to be the mom and wife who CAN function.

Have you tried going to see counseling ? This helped me tremendously. I was also very skeptical about taking medicine. The Dr would give me a script and sometime it sits on the shelf for weeks. My therapist helped me get through the anxiety and fear of taking meds. My anxiety and panic got so bad though that I had to see a psychiatrist. I was embarrassed, ashamed, everything you can think of. But he helped me seeit in a way where I didn't understand before. Sometimes we need a little medicine to help balance us out. I started a new medicine a week ago and I can feel a great difference. I don't plan on taking it long term. The dr says I can eventually stop taking it within months. Hope this helps. Wishing you all the best!

Ask for some low dose Xanax and take on a as needed basis. This has been a big help for me. Good Luck

Since you have a family, i would go see a doc. its not like they force you to go on meds.... you have that right to say no.

Go. See. Doctor. Get. Treatment. Do. Counseling. Find. What. Works.
In the end, to be functioning is what you and your family need for you to be able to do. I went on medicine, started cognitive behavior therapy (cbt) with a lot of homework assignments to have done before the next office visit. The best part, keeping a journal that helped me to see patterns, cycles, and find what works best when. In order to be the best you can be, you have to take care of you! first.

Ty everyone for your kind words of wisdom and advice. In Sept when i had a bad breakdown i went to my dr and was put on lyrica and cymbalta together (i have DDD in my back) that's when things went downhill and felt like I really lost myself. I stopped taking them and am nervous about trying another drug...low dose xanax? I have started journaling but hadn't thought about counseling...still embarrassed i guess, I've always been the type to deal with my stuff myself (lot of good thay seema to be doing) ty all again. Any tips on ways to remain positive???

Hi there,
I wanted to say I think this is incredible I stumbled upon what you wrote. I too am a 35 year old mom of three boys. My whole life I've struggled with anxiety mostly and a little depression. Now that I have so many more changes in life, plus elderly parents who moved closer to me who need constant help, I felt like I started cracking. I felt sick to my stomach all the time and constantly anxious about all of life's responsibilities. I started counseling last Sept and that has helped so much ! However, I had a break-down a month ago with severe and debilitating panic attacks. This is when I decided it was time to try medicine like an antidepressant. I was so anxious and depressed and crying all the time. My husband was taking care of everyone and I felt so much guilt and sadness. I decided that I wouldn't take medicine just for me. I would take it knowing I wanted a better mom available to my kids and a better wife available to my husband. I tried Wellbutrin and that made me more anxious. I'm now on Lexapro and feeling so much better even after a few doses. I feel like I'm a part of the life around me. I'm drowsy on it but hoping that subsides. At least I'm happy and the knot in my stomach is gone! I wanted to tell you I understand and know how hard it is juggling life and three boys. Start with weekly counseling ...if that doesn't change anything in a few months you may need a little extra boost with an antidepressant, even just for a little bit, to get you through this. Nothing is forever. Take a step for you and take a step for your family. I'm so so glad I did. Keep in touch.

Like several others have mentioned, I would explore available options. I would make my physician aware of this, consider counseling or some level of support group (these have been tremendously helpful in my life) perhaps see a therapist. I don't blame you for being apprehensive about medication and definitely disagree with going to a Dr. and just asking for a low dose of something to take the edge off. I think to get to that point the situation needs to be examined much more carefully. I have some of the same symptoms that you do and feel panicky when the most minuscule details are off in situations where they aren't even relevant. I've found that starting my day off with a calming guided meditation helps (although I often feel like I don't have the time and skip it despite the fact that I know it helps). Breathing exercises are good and practicing general mindfulness helps a lot too. Best wishes and all hope!

Ty everyone for the concern. I have taken a few days to try and collect myself. I've started using a journal app on my phone, working on trying ti find myself and things i like to do...I've started taking a multivitamin as well as a natural supplement (L-theanine) to help me relax after having some chest pains (dr said labs came back normal) out of the past week...this evening is the best i have felt. I have some ongoing issues with family that is preventing me from going to go see my doc about all thia but will go soon :-)