Hi OctoberJ. There is lots of us that go through this and its a awefull feeling. Councelling is a good start. But you should also look in to some meds. You have a long road ahead of you. Keep strong. You have freinds here.

Thanks, HVG. I was so scared that nobody would reply to my post! I feel better already just knowing someone cares.

J I'm a life-long anxiety guy. Started in childhood and have had episodes ever since. That said, life is good anyway. The anxiety sucks, but don't wait your whole life before you do something about it, whether it's counseling, meds, or both. I pretty much just toughed it out until I turned 40, and I could kick myself for waiting that long. There are treatments and a lot of hope for you, so you'll feel better. Just rely on those around you and here, for support. It helps. Talking about it also helps to get rid of the swirling thoughts that accompany anxiety. Good Luck!

Your in the right place. I just found this place and I am so glad I did as I have been dealing with anxiety for about 7 years now. I do take meds but lately been dealing with the evil thoughts again making me struggle again. Your statement is the story of my life.

"I'm so scared that this will never go away, and that I'll never feel like myself again. I'm constantly scared, and I have no idea what I'm so frightened of. "

You couldn't have read my mind any better with that statement. The funny thing is most of us are in good health but for some reason we can not convince ourselves that we are fine and not going to die. The best advice I can give you is to try and keep reminding yourself your fine. You do know your fine you just have a disease that trys to trick your mind into beleiving your not.

My attacks that I remember started in middle school (I'm 55), but I had no idea what they were. Do you have low blood sugar? Many times, diabetes or low blood sugar accompanies it. Mine isn't life threatening as I also have Mitral Valve Prolapse. The first thing I wanted to know was...if I could have children and was told "Yes, and you can live a long and normal life"! With that being said, I was put on meds that literally changed my life! Where others have to drink in order to relax, I take my meds as directed, sleep at night, (unless awakened by other sources), and can get on a stage of thousands of people, work a new job, meet new people, basically do whatever I want and it doesn't phase me. I've been living a normal life now for many, many years. You're not alone and I've found out that well over 10% of the population has it and that was discovered over 20 years ago, so I'm certain the count is higher now. I know many in the medical profession and almost all of them are on meds for it. It has no bearing on social nor ethnic groups. It just is....but you can live a normal and healthy life. Don't panic when you do have the episodes as that only worses it and it will only last for a few minutes. It run in almost my entire family of aunts, cousins, siblings, etc. There is life after anxiety. People who meet me have NO idea unless I just tell them because Im in total control now. Hope this encourages you.

Hi OctoberJ. I think its a great start that you have sought advice from both a counselor and joining this group.

You have a valid concern that it will never go away. In my experiences, it never does "go away," but you learn to live with it and mitigate it. It sounds like you have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. My best advice at this moment is try to reduce stress, eat well, sleep, exercise, and make time for yourself. I know it is much easier said than done.

We are the same age and maybe a similar experience. Feel free to msg me or chat if I'm online. I was considering getting my master's at this moment as well.

Anyway, best of luck and I hope you feel better.

Hey OctoberJ! This is my first time on this site as well. I've suffered from anxiety and panic for about 15 years. Know you are not alone and you are not crazy! Your feelings of never being the same again are very common. Get comfort in knowing you are taking steps to improve yourself. You will be 'whole' again, and a stronger person than ever before!

Reading these replys has been so absolutely helpful. I cried when I read them, because knowing that other people out there actually understand what I'm going through is so uplifting. Thank you, thank you, a million times...thank you!

I was once in your position. I went to counseling which i felt helped me greatly. I also got put on an anti-anxiety pill for three months. After three months of being on it I felt better and no longer needed it. If you do go on meds some people need it longer than what I did and there is some people that need medication for life. It is not a bad thing to need medication if it makes you feel better. Medications usually take a few weeks to get into your system. Best of luck to you hope you feel better soon.

Thanks for such honesty and support . I felt the same way a month ago yes sick and never ending stress. This site has really helped me to a whole lot I just started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago and with that and here I am doing really good. I could kick myself in the ass for not getting therapy help in my 20's I am 38 now I complained to my therapist about that I feel I wasted so many years of happiness Like I feel now and hope to contnue . Gosh it sucks so frggin bad that we all have to eat well sleep well breathing excerise a few times a day and see a therapist just to have a happy day . when others just go about there business and get through the day. We have a lot to do everyday of our lives and it sucks. I never asked for this but people in my past had issues and took them out on me. I am trying to accept things I guess.

I know exactly how you feel! My Dad died unexpectedly last year (64 with pancreatic cancer). Now I can't seem to stop thinking about my health. I check my skin constantly, etc. and drive family and friends nuts. I just want to calm down and enjoy life again too!

Skatermom,

Even though I feel more overwhelmed, anxious and scared than ever in my life, I do know that everyone struggles with some battle. It shouldn't be comforting to know that fact, but it at least lets me know that though I feel this way (sad/troubled/overwhelmed/anxious) there are people out there either going through the similar battle or something completely different yet just as challenging. I guess what I mean is, I don't believe that any smiling face is truly carefree. I believe that every action is one that is planned, whether consciously or subconsciously, and all we can do is hope that one day we are the ones that people look at and think, "man, I wish I was that happy." And maybe I'm an optimist, but I truly believe that day will come! :)

Well said, everyone. Makes me feel much better about doing the writing therapy, the counseling appointment, and temporary drug therapy to bring the acute sensitive levels back to my "normal".
It's hard going through the process, easier to know that I can get support along with everyone else here when needed, and that, yes, this is temporary!

Octoberj I feel your pain. I been suffering with anxiety for 7 years now which began with the fear of having a chronic illness onset by a long flu. I been able to live a pretty normal life wtih therapy and klonopin as my med. I even got married this year to my beautiful wife who has two wonderful children. I had never experienced kids and they were 11 and 13 when I started dating her and have enjoyed and learned alot about raising teenagers which is not easy but can be very satisfying. I have been holding steady at my job for 13 years by the graces of god. Anyway about 4 months ago i had a very minor umbilical hernia operation and ever since that I have had abdominal pains. Well this has escalated my anxiety with multiple visits to doctors and two ultrasounds and one cat scan and I am now scheduled for a colonoscopy in a week. All tests so far have been negative and I have been told that is most likely muscular and not related to any diseases. And I am actaully really healthy except the abd pains. I know that inside that I am fine but than I get that awful thinking. Well now over the last few days I can't sleep and now i feeling like I did before the klonopin. I have to keep telling myself people deal with pain like this all the time and they are fine. But my anxiety is tough to control. So needless to say I feel your pain (no pun intended..LOL). Got to laugh sometimes at ourselves for what we do.

Try telling yourself, "This will go away." It will be a good start in not being scared. It's just a disorder, the feelings of fear and worry are a symptom, not part of you. It also helps to think, "I'm feeling like I'm frightened" instead of "I am frightened". This mindset will help you separate the real you from the misfiring emotions you're having.

How did your counseling session go?