Today I am a nervous wreck yet again, I am so fed up living like this.  A few nights ago I had night terrors, apparently I was hyperventolating and my pulse racing, since then my nerves are worse than ever.  I cant calm down.  When I wake up my stomach turns over, my home to me makes me feels overwhelmed, things that need tidying, cleaning, cooking, washing up, etc etc, just the same things everyone else does.  But to me its just so hard to do.  We have a damp wall, which we cant afford to do anything about.  Its creeping up the wall, its about half way now.  Added to this is my disabled daughter who has major problems, this week we go to her heart transplant clinic about 2 - 3 hours away, I am dreading it.  I hate medical stuff gone, as we have had so much of it over the time.  My dad had heart problems and was in and out of hospital at a regular basis.  He died dec 2009.  Then my mum who had cancer went in for me chemo to be told it was terminal, and she would be dead within a week, but she lived until april 2010.  She died in a hospice april 2010.  So there wasnt much time between them.  Then there is Emma my daughter was born with a heart problem and we were told she wouldnt make one, she is now 22 years old, we have been visiting different hospital for her heart, her epilepsy, asmatha, tachycardia, hypertension, severe depression, I could go on.  Now I find things are just all too much for me, everything.  There is no help.  Family dont care, and my parents who did, are both dead.  I've just got to find a way to feel calm.  I dont know how to cope.