Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
So I have paid attention to my thinking a lot lately and I am driving myself insane. Every thought I have is self-destructive or a put down of myself. I catch myself doing it, fearful of everything, so totally negative. I am allowing these thoughts and this thinking to affect my behavior, I want to replace it with positive thoughts but I just really have a hard time convincing myself anything positive about myself is true. Am I making sense? I am so scared of this life, mostly because I have an inner critic telling me 24/7 that I am incapable of being successful, being normal, being sane, being loveable, being a partner, a mother, a friend. I have isolated myself and created this my reality in which I can be right about being all these things. I hope I'm making sense. Its a frightening world that I live in, in my mind and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I try to catch myself in this self-perpetuating cycle but my anxiety and fear are so intense that I find myself running from any possible difficulty. I am typing to fast to know if I'm making sense. I just realized this. How do I break this horrible habit and bring peace to my sick head?
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
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"don't be a hate hole" has been one of my recent mantras which seems to be escaping my mouth more and more often. it emerges when i am faced with the endless list of chores i would rather not deal with. insurance. head lice. bureaucracy. in-laws. the list goes on and on and on and on, ad infinitum.reality checks requested. am i making sense?"ever'thin they is but loving leaves a rust on your...
You have to confront the worst possible outcome.
So you're hating yourself: take the thing you are saying, and have a discussion with yourself. Complete and resolve the conversation. How you know it's resolved is when you reach emotional satisfaction.
To have this backlog of negativity for yourself you must have blocked yourself from having these conversations and processing your reaction to them. That's my logic anyway, I could be totally wrong. What I do know is that you're bound to be absolutely normal and absolutely no different from anybody else, but your viewpoint is toxic. :) Start looking at these things you say to yourself objectively. Start demanding that this little voice in your head make sense. Let it be heard, but look at what it says rationally. Most of the time I think we try to stop the negative voice. So the negative voice just gets more stroppy. Accept it, listen to it, and maybe disagree with it after you have given it due consideration - or agree that you did something wrong. accept it. Feel bad - and then that feeling can release and you can get positive again. Do I make sense? I'm reallly just talking about myself here. Lol. I've had a lot of self hate.
You are definitely not alone. I have been paying attention to my thoughts too much too. I think mainly because I am bored and need something to keep my mind busy. Maybe if I tell you about my thoughts we'll know we're not alone:
I have a massive fear of death. I constantly wonder what death will be like, when will it come, and what will happen after. Will I know who I am? Will I remember my life? What is the purpose to everything? I get in a horrible spiral of these thoughts and it gets extremely hard to get out of the process, and it is very scary. However remembering that they do go away in time and there is a light at the end of the tunnel helps me feel better. Hope this helps.
Every time you feel the usual pattern, you add a positive, and you will change the response, do this enough times, and you'll notice you are changing the pattern.
Best wishes!
The best way to stop thinking negatively is to stop yourself from doing so each and every time you become consciously aware of it, and you do that quite simply by thinking in a way that isn't negative alternatively, and yes that can be with a positive thought, with that one positive thought always being the one used.
The above is how MINDFULNESS works. I tried mindfulness for three weeks and found that it worked for me. I don't always think positively, but I rarely think negatively as a result of mastering it.
I would avoid being too harsh on yourself, in fact I would recommend you stop being harsh on yourself altogether. Instead be kind to yourself, you are unwell, so be self compassionate as it is a legitimate entitlement.
You are a good person, and suffering from anxiety fails to change that, so stop thinking that it may.