Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Recently I went to the counselor and my mom demanded to come so she could "help me" but while talking she admitted that she no longer has time to be there for me. She says that she has her own life and her own problems and she doesn't have time to deal with me and my anxiety. What do I do when she is the only person I can go to when I'm having an anxiety attack? Now when I need someone I don't know who I can go too. also just how do I deal with the fact that my own mother doesn't have time to "deal" with me anymore?
Are you still working with the counselor? Have you tried any medication? Friends you can talk to? You can always come here and find support.
Now - decades later - I hate to say it but I get where she was coming from (although I still think it's wrong for a parent to say that to a child).
People who don't have anxiety, do NOT get it. And they don't get how awful it feels and that we feel that they are the only one who can help us when we're freaking out.
After my mom gave up on me, I had to be there for myself and I did a pretty good job of it tho I thought I wasn't doing well and I always felt stressed - what if I have anxiety. I have NO ONE to call.
I did okay but I felt like I needed a life raft all the time. So I kept finding new people. Because I felt I HAD to have them in my life, fear ruled my choices and I put up with a lot of crap from my life line. And you know what? They actually did very little for me apart from "there there" and "here have some tea" and talking me through breathing. A hotline person can do that for you - or pretty much anyone else.
The problem is that when you count on others to be there to help with your anxiety, you typically put up with all kinds of crap because the other person thinks you "can't live without them." Plus, you can kind of wear them out because anxiety feels so terrifying and you feel you need help urgently so they wind up getting called in the middle of the night, during meetings, etc. It's not your fault and it's not theirs. It's just a thing.
The very best thing in the world is to realize that YOU are able to handle the anxiety on your own. You CAN. When someone is there helping you to handle it, you feel you NEED them. But YOU are the one calming yourself down. You have that power.
The other thing to realize is that almost everyone has had anxiety or a panic attack. You likely just have more of them and are more tuned into them. So if you find ways to manage the anxiety yourself and then you're able to speak up and say, "I need to step out. I'm feeling a little anxious. Be right back" almost always people will respect that. Often they'll ask if they can do anything to help.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy may help. Also EFT is very simple and effective. And you can do it anywhere.
You may also want to get your folate, B12 and MTHFR gene tested. If you have the gene mutation (like 20 - 35% of people) it means you can't convert the folic acid in food into usable folate. If your folate and/or B12 is low, it can give you anxiety and depression.
But people are terrible about sustaining their efforts.
Look at major tragedies. Everyone was donating to Katrina victims for a few weeks after the hurricane. Now they're like, "That was so long ago, aren't things back to normal YET?" Well, no. And the earthquake in Haiti? People are still recovering even though that was years and years ago.
When people have a chronic, lifelong condition, it's hard because people get "sick" of being there for you.
People with anxiety are not "faking it" or "making more of it" than there really is. I have recovered from my anxiety for the most part and looking back, I cannot imagine how I did so much while feeling so anxious. It is all consuming and just awful to go through.
There is, fortunately, a lot of support out there. There are support lines, support groups like this one as well as groups that meet in person or by video conference. And these can be really helpful because everyone there is familiar and is walking the same path.
When you learn your limits, you can just tell family, "Sorry - not comfortable doing that." They may react, but that's their crap and not yours. Then when you need support, go to a strong group that can provide the help you need.
And I re-iterate that you have it within you to calm the storm.