after the total upheavals which rendered my life to unrecognizable 3 years ago, things have been holding steady enough for long enough that i find myself looking over my shoulder in anxious watch for ***what's next?***. the powers that be always seem to send more than my fair share of storms my way. all this serenity can't possibly be sustainable in my stormy life. what demons are waiting to pop out of the shadows of the blinding bright lights to eat me alive?

sigh. . . just breathe. . .

today's read from "courage to change" is resonating tunefully enough to make me want to reinforce it by typing it out here.

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as we pursue recovery, we may encounter opportunities to deepen learning we began long ago. [erhaps we once learned to detach from a particular problem. now, months or years later, when we once again need to detach, it can feel as if we've forgotten everything we knew. it's important to remember that at such moments that, although the feelings may be the same, we are not the same.

my recovery matters. all of the experience, strength and hope i have accumulated is within me today, guiding my choices. i may not recognize it right now, but i have made progress and i continue to make progress with every step i take. perhaps i am learning something i have learned before; i must need to know it more deeply. i may go through the process this time with greater awareness, or turn to my higher power more quickly and easily, or reach out to a therapy supporter without hesitation.

today's reminder

instead of assuming that i have failed because i am learning a difficult lesson once more, i might embrace the experience as part of a long-term healing process that requires repetition and practice. i can trust that eventually i will learn it so well that it will become an automatic, confident and healthy response.

"the human mind always makes progress, but it is a progress in spirals. ~madame de stael

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just sharing. open discussion. anything goes.