Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
So get this...I'm at church tonight..I got there late and had to go immediately to my class. Within just a few minutes of sitting down, the teacher says that we will be reading a chapter..each person will read a verse...we'd go around the table until it was finished. I have read in small groups before but tonight I just froze. The first time around, I did manage to read the verse but my voice was cracking and my heart was pounding and I am certain that everyone could tell. Well anyway, a few down the line had to read after me before it was my time again......so before it gets to me again I FAKE A COUGHING FIT!!! IN CHURCH!! ....and asked the lady beside me to take my verse and then I went to the bathroom mustering up my so called cough and getting a drink of water. I got back to the table and yep....it's coming around to me again...so I pass it off to the lady beside me...you know....SINCE I HAVE THE COUGH AND ALL!! So anyway, that was done and it really bothered me that I had gotten so worked up...I haven't been that worked up over something like that in a very long time. So anyway, that passes and then I start to think.....how on earth can I go faking a cough, making these people think that was what was really wrong with me...IN CHURCH OF ALL PLACES???....So then the guilt started...and I was like..I just lied to these people without saying a word by faking a cough....instead of just calmly saying when it got to me......"ILL PASS"....But noooooooo I was to embarrassed to be a 40 year old woman who was to full of anxiety to READ!! I have been under some stress lately...but this really came out of nowhere...and it makes me feel like I just took a thousand steps backwards. As far as the guilt goes by faking the cough...I'm going to let that go....it's probably not the most uncommon thing in the world to happen because people are afraid to speak publicly all the time..no matter how small the group...so that little scenario is between me and God. Anyway....thanks for reading..... :\
Don't be hard on yourself. God probably got a little chuckle out of it too. We are all characters at heart....its okay to let that show sometimes.
Tis the danging thing with this disorder that it can strike at a moments notice with no warning although in fairness the "waiting for your turn" to do something which is a high pressure situation no doubt fuelled your anxiety like gas on a fire.
Well done for having the forethought to do what you did.
El
What else could you have done? Stop the reading and tell them all about how you suffer from anxiety and how hard your heart has been pounding. And why as good church folks would they ever torture a good member like you.
You took the smart route. I think God has forgiven you.
Skye