Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I have been doing well with my social anxiety. Well, I guess I would since I haven't really been anywhere much. My husband asked what I would like to do when he got home from work tonight. I told him I would like to go to the archery range. We had not been in a couple weeks so I figured it would be something fun to do to get out of the house.
We got to the range and it was nearly full. I told my husband that I was going to sit and wait to let my food digest since we just finished eating. In all honesty, I was waiting to see if some people would leave. The guy that gave us our classes asked him why I wasn't out shooting and he explained we had just ate and I wanted my food to settle.
I was sitting on the opposite end from where my husband was at because there was no places to sit close to him. He motioned for me to move my chair closer. I was already feeling like all the people on that side of the room were staring at me. I moved my chair over and he seemed to be happy.
A child began shrieking nearly in my ear so I got up and moved back to where I was in the first place. I kept feeling like people were looking at me like I was being stupid for moving. My husband saw my face getting red. He came over to ask if everything was okay. I began to sob uncontrollably. I tried to hide it. I told him that I didn't want to spoil his time so please go shoot some more.
He went and got his bow and packed it up. We left and my anxiety slowly came back down. In the car he was being so silly just trying to get me to laugh. I felt so horrible because I knew shooting was something he and I both really wanted to do, but my anxiety got in the way of us really being able to enjoy ourselves.
I wish there was some sort of button I could push to turn it off. I try to not let my head tell me that people are doing things they probably aren't doing, but I just can't seem to move past this.
We got to the range and it was nearly full. I told my husband that I was going to sit and wait to let my food digest since we just finished eating. In all honesty, I was waiting to see if some people would leave. The guy that gave us our classes asked him why I wasn't out shooting and he explained we had just ate and I wanted my food to settle.
I was sitting on the opposite end from where my husband was at because there was no places to sit close to him. He motioned for me to move my chair closer. I was already feeling like all the people on that side of the room were staring at me. I moved my chair over and he seemed to be happy.
A child began shrieking nearly in my ear so I got up and moved back to where I was in the first place. I kept feeling like people were looking at me like I was being stupid for moving. My husband saw my face getting red. He came over to ask if everything was okay. I began to sob uncontrollably. I tried to hide it. I told him that I didn't want to spoil his time so please go shoot some more.
He went and got his bow and packed it up. We left and my anxiety slowly came back down. In the car he was being so silly just trying to get me to laugh. I felt so horrible because I knew shooting was something he and I both really wanted to do, but my anxiety got in the way of us really being able to enjoy ourselves.
I wish there was some sort of button I could push to turn it off. I try to not let my head tell me that people are doing things they probably aren't doing, but I just can't seem to move past this.
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
The stress marker is there, the trigger is there, and the solution is also there. Find what works to give you calm. For me, I practice in front of the mirror going through the expressions, gestures to help me find where I am in my feelings. Then the same for my thoughts. That step will give you an idea of where the original conflict of anxiety is joining in.
You have strength, best wishes to feeling much, much better, and enjoy the range again.
Usually the only solution I have found to not have anxiety around people is to leave the room or area. I wish I could find some way to still be around and not worry so much. I just feel like giving up at times. Just sit at home and never go anywhere. I could very easily do this, but really don't ant that lifestyle.
I guess I need some serious help....?
Sympathy and understanding are dangerous and you have to keep away from them if you are in public; so basically when you feel getting close to overload, run for the loos. Cry if you need to in there. But use it as a chance to pull it back together. Think a happy thought. Find a 'happy place' - and get yourself there. Whatever memories or despair that the situation is bringing up for you you can think about tonight when you are home, but for now you're getting through the event without embarrassing yourself.
It took me a long while to learn to do this. But it's worth it. You can release some anxiety in the loo, in private, and come back and get through the rest. Once you have a strategy for coping in public it takes a lot of heat out of going out. :)
"Would it be okay with you, should I start getting uptight when there, for me to go sit in the car and listen to a couple of tapes.?"
Unless dh is happy to say yes right away, follow up with, "That's the deal I'd like. I'd feel more secure knowing I myself could bail out. Otherwise, I wonder if we might postpone 'till a day I'm stronger."
OR, "can we go over and see if it's crowded?"
Back to the first "deal," go over and scope the place out before paying entrance. . . . ./ Now I'm emphasizing planning ahead. And emphasizing something like. "escape road," Which BTW are found in Le Mans and Sebring racing (twisting, public roads..) At the more risky turns there are "escape roads"; if ya' see you're not gonna make it, you take that road. -And get back on the route after losing time. No walls are possible, in many cases -- as at indy.
These ppl want to take their cars out there and do their thing, still "keeping it between the ditches." .. . . . / These "deals" and planning i am talking about are to make everyone more confident. 'Logistics' i used to hear from a military uncle; the term has to do w transportation and supply, An army unit will not melt down if it has well thought thru logistics. ..Hmm for a two car family, good logistics. for possibly-uptight occasions would be : taking two cars. That would offer a reassurance; having a parachute makes a safe plane feel even safer.
If i go to a concert and insist on a seat on the isle, i'll be less likely to want to leave -- cuz of the security it adds
please excuse my tiny keyboard and the bad English, . . Caleb(Paul), good health to you
Calebb thanks for the suggestions! I really appreciate it and will try that. I was so excited about going shooting I never thought that it might be packed with people. I will have to remember that other people like to get out too. Lol!
Knowing this will help you with the options everyone has mentioned.
It's the first step in healing, knowing where you want to find your comfort, and if having the safe zone nearby works, I say go for it!
The hard part about walking through the group to get there, one step at a time, keep moving, and focus on moving, that will help.
Best wishes!
I had to keep him outside. Never tell him how I was feeling. Because they will do one of 2 things, either of which will do you in.
1. sympathy - nooo! End up a blithering mess feeling like a drama queen and the centre of altogether too much attention;
2. they start to get annoyed and tired of being sympathetic and blame you.
Neither actually works. So if I was about to hit the wall, in public, and a loved one asks me if I'm okay? Bright, bright smile. Yes! Yay! Fake it till you make it! and do a runner for the loos. Give them the idea you have a weak bladder. Whatever. But keep them outside the fight, away from the battle, because they can't handle it properly forever. :)
That's my experience anyway. Now I'm alone and it's fantastic. I have never been this happy in my life, but then I have other issues. :p