Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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Anxiety Disorders
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Lost

Lara210UC
Lara210UC

I am 47 years and never thought I would have a point in my life to where the man I love would tell me he is not happy and wants to leaves me. He told me that I have become this person full of anger and that at times I am just ugly inside. He pointed out that we don't make love anymore because we are too busy fighting.  Of course, he told me this before he went out of town to visit his kids.  So I decided to take today off from work and just try to relax. Unfortunately, I can't.  The words he told me echo in my head. The look in his eyes and tone of his voice haunts me. Knowing that he really is in love me but yet can't be with me.... tears me apart! So I ask, why am I so angry? Why am I so ugly towards him? Where is the happy person that I use to be?  I use to wake up bubbly, full of life and ready to start a new adventure! I use to be funny and made people I don't even know laugh! I use to want to go out and explore new places or go hiking or work on my wood crafting... I just don't anymore.  I use go to the archery range and make bulleyes or shoot darts and score big... I lost interest!  WHERE IS ME? WHERE DID I GO? HOW DO I GET ME BACK?  To be very honest, I really love the man I am with... I am so madly in love with him. Never in a million years, would I think that I would be so cold, harsh, ugly or mean towards him or anyone else!!! It's just not who I am.  So my question is, HOW DO I FIX ME?  I started taking mood pills today.  Even though I only took one pill, I am really hoping my body response to it. But I think taking a little purple pill is not going to fix all of my problems...  I need help and don't know where to turn too. I don't know how to fix me!!!  I need someone to advise me and help me find the person I use to be and want to be again. I want to save my relationship with the man I love and save anyother realtionships I have with family and friends.  Please someone help me not to be so lost.....

DaniRae8808
DaniRae8808
I am so sorry you are struggling with this. To find you again you have to give YOU time. You have to work on YOU. Do you see a therapist, do you partake in things like Yoga or Meditation? Do you have a hobby, possibly painting? Sometimes we get so wrapped up in our comfort zones, we become complacent and do not realize what is changing. You need to refocus your energy, find the inner you again, pamper her and make her happy. Make a conscience effort to love yourself then you can better love the man in your life.
muskrattiger
muskrattiger
somthing that realy helped me other than ..meds ...was vitamin ...b6 ...I took the max dose ..and it was such a big diferance ....I use to pack.my husbands bags and God help him if he tried to get out the door ........it is worth a try ..it helps with mood ....I took it for years ....untill I was done menopause .....take care I will keep you in my prayers ...God bless
Piano1962
Piano1962
So sorry to hear about your situation! It must feel awful to be in it. Has there been any major changes to your life that's out of the ordinary that might have affected you negatively? Could it be your hormonal change that's causing it? Have you seen the doctor about your change? Any therapist that you've seen? Your condition could be caused by physical change in your body or outside circumstances. Pills might help but it may only be temporary. You will need to find out the cause for any remedies to be effective. I would suggest the doctor first, then counseling or therapist. Hope you get help! Hang in there! Take care!
Lara210UC
Lara210UC
I have seen a doctor and recommended to take an over the counter herbal pill and join a support group. As for as change in my life, I was divorce a year ago and there have been a few deaths in my family. Nothing to major...I've accepted my divorce. I just want me back and for my relationship to be ok.
Pignulotta
Pignulotta
I went through a similar thing w/ my husband. I was full of anger and didn't know why. It wasn't until I read this book that my life was changed. (chapter 10 was like a bomb dropped - it was like a light bulb went off! I highly suggest you read it. It will change your life!!! It did mine!

https://www.amazon.com/Created-His-Help-Meet-Discover/dp/1892112604
bridgie101
bridgie101
I think you need WAY better than some silly herbal pill and a support group. That's (can I say this here?) idiotic. I mean that's like having a plumbing leak and calling in a faith healer to wave plastic straws at the water.

don't muck around with hippie junk. Get a professional in. I think you definitely need counselling. I know that sounds horrible but they're really good at unpacking this stuff, and it's going to take you time. You've got a lot of other stuff in there.

:D

We don't start bullying or calling people names that we never knew existed - and so you have brought this treatment of your man with you from somewhere. But things can be more complicated than they look. Sometimes you think something's your fault and it's someone else's. Sometimes you think it's their fault, and it's yours. Sometimes it's a matter of triggers. Sometimes, if we have anxiety, we can't tolerate anyone hanging up tea towels 'wrong' or pegging their jeans by the feet. We get controlling and we have to learn to let go of other people's necks, because there's more than one way to peg up your jeans and it's not worth losing them over...

That's where that objective third party can come in useful if you're prepared to be brutally honest about yourself. They can tell you things that you don't already know.

Isolating ourselves from new information makes us boors. Seek new information and it'll naturally make you kinder and more humble.

And if you were married to an asshole for a while, you will become an asshole for a while. You kind of become the person you leave for a while. I think you've jumped into a new relationship too soon. You hadn't come back to yourself. So there's a bit of cleanup you need to do.

:)
Community LeaderMid
Mid
You have to walk your own path to healing. It takes many twists and turns to find the origin of the "anger" and to accept that it is as natural as anxiety is. Knowing that anger can happen is the first step in helping to heal it.

Sometimes, we have several relationships all seem to go in awkward directions, and zero clue where to start. You've taken the first step, writing it out.

You're going to be fine, make a decision to get checked out, evaluated, and consider your options in helping you heal.

Best wishes.
Hem
Hem
Dear Heart
I only know what you shared with us ;however you have mention his interpretation of you. If you are in agreement with his comments. Is there a reason why you want to continue living in a situation that's causing you to feel guilty. It seems like you let go of all the things you use to do. Who was that for him or you. It was something about that other you that drew him to you.
Sometimes things shake and fall apart for a reason.
If you get a chance read:
He's Just Not ThatvInto You.
I had to re read it after I saw the man that I loved with his true love at a funeral and he couldn't look at me. I was broken for days after that. But I decided I am still beautiful, funny, and loved by others. And I could not waste my pretty on him. Best of luck
Lara210UC
Lara210UC
bridgie101 I thank you for advise however, I have been seeing therapist for years. So NO I haven't jumped into a new relationship too quickly. What it is ...is menopause!! my Aniexty raising to a point that I have never felt before and because of that I have seek professionally help and they even reccommend a herbal pill. I perfer something natural over a med that has tons of side effects and eventually will cause me to have problems a different part of body. I have been doing yoga, meditation, excerising with my boyfriend, hiking, taking a herbal pill and living a more healthier life style. I must say life has been better and happier!!! Thank you but I think I will stay support groups and herbal pill. Peace
Lara210UC
Lara210UC
Hem and mideyebrow, thank you! I am feeling much better and have a positive outlook on life. My boyfriend has changed too... he is walking with me, doing mediation and yoga, going hiking and living a healthier lifestyle with me... he came to realization that he needed to change for the better and the way he was living was only bring him and me down. life is great!!! He asked me to marry this past Valentine's Day... you know what I will!! thank you so much for listening!!!
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