Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I have a lot of health struggles lately. My mental health has always been not great, but my physical health is starting to worsen now as well. Constantly, I'm worried that I'm dying. I'll start having a panic attack because of any little thing my body does because I think it's the end. The constant panicking is really driving me nuts. Since my health is worsening, I think about just offing myself so I don't have to do the slow, painful march towards death.
It's gotten to the point that I'm even afraid of my own heartbeat. When I hear it or feel it, I think it's a sign that a heart attack is coming, or heart failure is about to take over. And, every day that I wake up the next morning, I'm surprised. I have a family history of bad heart conditions, so I guess it also adds to why I just feel like my heart giving out is inevitable.
For years, I've been planning on making myself better, but my mental health makes me go in circles of starting and never completing anything. So, things have been just slowly getting worse. I don't see a light at the end of the road most days anymore.
I want to sign up for therapy, but I feel so beyong saving. The only reason why I haven't trying to off myself yet is because I'm afraid it won't work and I'll just be left worse off than I am now. Also, I do still cling to the last thread of hope that maybe things will get better.
I know that there are people who will miss me if I died...but if my health is giving out, I'll be dead anyway.
And, I know there are things like exercise to make mental and physical health better in tandem, but since I'm scared of my heartbeat, it just freaks me out. Like, who's scared of their HEARTBEAT?? I read that people who are mentally ill can be hyper aware of their own heartbeats, I just didn't know it could be this bad.
There are a lot of things that I don't do anymore because of the fear. I don't go a lot of places, because I'm scared that I'll have a heart attack in public. I don't have a lot of fun anymore, because getting excited about things raises your heart rate and I don't want to bother my heart. I have trouble sleeping because at night, my anxiety is worse anyway, and then when I'm laying there in silence I can hear my heart.
I'm too scared to get on anxiety meds because my brain says they'll end up hurting me and I'm already so broken my body won't be able to take it. I just don't know what to do anymore.
What can someone who's afraid of everything do to get better? How do I stop fearing everything? Even my own heartbeat?
Please give advice, any advice would be appreciated...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
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Ever since I stopped doing therapy because of insurance, I've been feeling that old tense and irritable sense of anxiety and stress. I hate that. I was making so many strides and changes during therapy, my therapist would acknowledge all of my progress and accomplishments, and I miss that reassurance. Today I thought about it, and I made those changes! She would always tell me that I chose to...
You've taken the important first step in writing it out.
Best wishes as you find your better balance.
You are young, only 26 years old, and I am no doctor, but I am almost certain nothing is wrong with your heart. You won't have a heart attack. You're really too young to have any heart problems at all. I know me saying that won't convince you, but I really believe that you are just fine physically. Your 20's is a great time to enjoy your life. You can get there.
Maybe if you make an appointment with a doctor, they can check your heart to reassure you, and you can ask them for an anti-anxiety medication. Then ask them for the phone number of a therapist.
Sounds like a lot to do, but it's not that hard to do. One call to your doctor. Give it a chance. You deserve to feel a lot better and a lot happier.... and you can!
Good luck, best wishes.