Majors I feel your pain. I’ve been struggling for about 15 years. I too would like to go back to my old self but actually I realize I can’t. Besides, I’m a different person now; I’ve changed for the better in many ways. I’m any case, you are not alone. I understand also about calling out from work because of anxiety. Been there too. Lately I’ve managed to keep this job for two months so far. It’s not easy showing up every day but I struggle through. It will get better.

My anxiety condition has been with me for as long as I remember. Proof unavailable, but there is considerable reason to believe I carried my mother's anxiety down the birth canal with me. My suicidal ideation kicked in when I was around 12. My suicidal ideation is heavily psychotheraputed, but there are still days I am not so confident life is worth living with the anxiety ball and chain attached. Then there are the good days where I am still an Anxiety Queen, but I can appreciate the beauties in life. I'm getting better at recognizing those collateral beauties when I need them the most.

In many ways I feel luckier than the folks who experience adult onset anxiety. I wouldn't go back to my old self for all the wishes in Wishlandia. Yet another round on the not-so-merry-go-round of anxiety doesn't feel as tragic as it did way back when I could still get by on my looks.

Keep writing it out.

I can think of many things to 'share', however, none of those fit the umbrella feeling that you are holding in your hand over your head with a rain cloud over you.

That particular one, I experienced for a long time, and CBT helped me tremendously over time with all the homework assignments and the process of being a part of this online support group.

You are not alone.

Anxiety come on slow, it leaves at the same pace, slowly. Patience is needed if you are following a treatment regimen. It’s not easy but you can get there. You ordered the book I recommended. Go back to the book and keep reading. Soak it up, you haven’t yet begun to heal from anxiety. As the books says, and from my own experience, time is needed. I have suffered from A & D all my life, I’m 63. I’m in recovery, I will do whatever it takes to recover. Your feelings right now are anxiety driven, understand this. Keep going forward no matter how bad you feel. Don’t let the feelings and emotions deviate you from a path to recovery. Right now you are in a state of desperation, understand this too. I’ve been right where you are. But you have to understand what is going on with you and don’t allow it to deter you. It will get better if you do what is necessary. It just takes time. What else do you have to do during this time? Stay in the pit of anxiety or keep stepping forward to recovery? Either way you go, it still takes time, so put your time to better use in going forward toward healing instead of staying stranded where you are. It is a hard path but in the end you have your life back. I hope this little pep talk helps, I in no way am trying to hurt you or put you down, but trying to help you see the folly of listening to your emotions right now. You can do this!

what helped me accept my anxiety,(specifically social anxiety) was realizing its my system trying to help me and trying to keep me safe from danger, even though there is no danger, its trying to protect me from being hurt so i realized i dont need to fight i just need to remind it that there is no real threat

I’m trying to come up with a plan for me.
Has anyone done any partial hospitalization treatment for anxiety?

I feel the same too I want my old self back and it's hard

@Skyler’swifey21. Your old self is what got you into this mess. That’s where your present situation came from, Your old thinking habits and core fears and lack of confidence. It would be more realistic to want to be a new you, with a new sense of confidence and an Arsenal of coping skills under your belt, and a new self awareness that far exceeds the old you. Think about it.

Anxiety is the worst.. I live it everyday. Wishing all of you a great day. Sorry I did not reply to all with a message.

I would soooo love myself back. But wondering what that good self is like these days.