No, it's not wrong! It's what you are used to. It's what you know and are comfortable with. You don't HAVE to do anything you don't want to. You are right, it is a part of who you are. It;s probably impossible to completely just get rid of it, whatever it is. Things aren't that simple.. which you know.. but maybe those people telling you these things just don't get it.

If there is something wrong with feeling that way, I don't wanna be right. Honesty is MUCH easier to sort and heal than sugar coated lies.

In my own therapy, "Acceptance" and "fighting back negative feelings" are thoroughly compatible. When I accept the ugly facts of my mental illness and the horrors which play so heavily into that mental illness, I am making room for honest and complete self-compassion and healing hopes. I is what I is, I ain't what I ain't and I'm still worthy of healing, love and acceptance.

So opineth The Arf.

Continued support while you sort your own.

The best gift we give ourselves is to remember that just because someone says something does NOT make it ours.

When I have people tell me things I can do that I'm aware do not fit me in the way my lifestyle is, I just say thank you and move on.

Positive words and images added to my thoughts give hope and acceptance to be included, giving a way to put the thought to a better balance.

It takes time, determination, and strength to keep moving through the process.

Best wishes.

Sometimes acceptance leads to peace. I think it depends on how you look at things. "fighting thoughts" all the time is hard. Trying to gradually change them may be helpful. Sometimes, though just accepting you for who you are and where you are in your healing can bring some relief and calm.

Well put. I feel exactly the same way. Having battled anxiety all of my life and being told that I need to change I have concluded that it is part of what makes me me. It seems that all of the counseling and therapy has been a method to mask my being. Once I accepted that I am who I am I became just a little bit happier. I still suffer from anxiety but at least I am not as anxious about it.

Hi,
I hope I am understanding what you are communicating. If I don’t I apologize.

I have dealt with anxiety (a form of mental illness) most of my life. I believe it all started when my hormones came into play (age 14) But that’s my story.

The question I have is, have you gone to a doctor to get the proper blood tests to see if there is a hormonal imbalance (like estrogen) or a thyroid hormone imbalance or a mineral deficiency. The reason why I am asking is because all these imbalances can contribute or create “mental/emotional illnesses/distresses” After 40 years, the blood tests showed my thyroid imbalance and after having it treated with the correct meds, I am feeling calm, negative thoughts don’t bother me like they used to. I feel much better.

I will not tell you how to feel and what to think. Only know, that YOU are in control of that. We make choices (many choices) every day of our lives. To walk left instead of right. To eat potato chips instead of apples. The list goes on. LABELING your choices from negative or positive might box you in. I believe that SERVING yourself is the most important thing for an individual. Do the things you think will serve you. In explanation, if the so-called negative thoughts serve your feeling of inadequacy then THAT serves you as it makes you feel small. (Which is your choice) If the negative feelings keep you from going outside and meeting people, then it serves you from not experiencing relationships with other people. The question is, “Are you serving yourself in a way that leads to a productive life or happy life?”
Is that important to you? There is no judgment here. I wonder if people (in general) think it is outside themselves when it comes to their feelings and thoughts. No one MAKES someone feel a certain way.

In respect to you asking, is there something wrong with me because I have been a person with mental illness (for a long time) and feel it defines me.

You are the only one who lives in your mind and body, If it makes you feel safe defining yourself as such - then no one is stopping you or telling you to stop. I would like for you to see your options. To open your eyes and to not to box yourself into it.

Life is a do over. Life is full of choices.
Did you ever hear about the monkey inside of the cage. This monkey had a banana in it’s hand, but the person outside the cage had peanuts. The only way the monkey was going to get the peanuts was to release the banana and put it’s paw through the wire cage and get the peanuts. Do you see where I am going. One needs to release one thing to have another thing.
Possibly, one day (when you feel up to it) try letting go of the banana (negative feeling) and reach for the peanuts (something/someone) that gives you joy.

You have had a lot of sorrow in your life to understand how lovely it would be to have joy.
I wish you great joy in your life. Take Care.

Nothing is wrong with your thoughts ever! They are your mind processing things going on and although sometimes if you let them they can take you down a dark road, I think that most of the time we need to pay attention to what they're teaching us. I really think that when people say things like that they're trying to help, even if it's lame. They just really WANT you to feel better and they HOPE it could be so easy. I guess just try and understand that they don't understand. So no there is nothing wrong with you and you are NOT condemned. You are on a journey and sometimes the boat seems like it's going to capsize but hang on because you will reach the shore! Hugs