I have lots of irrational fears but I'm learning to manage. One of which is a fear of my parents dying, mainly my mother. I don't know how ill live without her. I don't have good advice on how to cope with that except to just enjoy the time you have with them now. I've recently started to talking to my mom about her will and wishes and such when she passes. It hurts, but it's helping me start to accept things. Maybe in time I won't feel like I'll be so lost when she's gone.

I do and I don't believe the fears are irrational, even when the odds are stacked pretty high against it happening any time soon. Death, illness and tragedy come to us all and I believe it is fully natural to **want** to be prepared.

Alas, Life seems to be endlessly clever in catching us by surprise. Sigh. . . Worry never robs tomorrow of sorrow. It only robs today of its joy.

I use distraction to keep myself from going OCD over the what-if scenarios. Even housework beats getting lost in these thoughts. If distraction doesn't work, I start journaling and sharing within my therapy support network to see if I can reach the underlying cause(s). I'm still wishing for a quicker fix, but just wishing. . . I haven't found one yet.

Gentle empathy, Kisses. It royally sucks to have this flavor of what-ifs polluting my brain. Doomsday Derby, coming at ya. . .

I lost my dad already. And my mom will be 85 on December 10th. She is in good health. But her age scares me. All I can say is enjoy the time you have with them. Just like Ash said. Because you never know. Life is unpredictable. I hate to think like that but it's reality. And death is something that I don't do well with. I know your very close to your mom and dad. And I think that's a wonderful thing. You do a lot with her. Just keep doing what your doing Kisses. Cherish everday and every moment you have with them. Much love to you and your family.

And Kisses your mom and dad are still very young to me. I wouldn't worry to much. Sounds like their in good health too. Enjoy them both.

Kisses, it’s a normal fear. Like others have said, love your parents and spend time with them. No one ever really knows when it’s their time. All you can do is live life to its fullest like each day is your last. . My mom has been gone for almost 5 years and my dad just turned 80. I spend ad much time as I can with him.

Kisses no body wants to lose a parent and I mean no body. I lost my mom 3 years ago and to this day is still hard for me. I'm glad I had the relationship I had with her and I just know she may not be hear physically but 1 way or another I know she's with me.

She enjoyed life and taught me how to make the best of things even when times are tough. Its hard for me knowing the fact shell never hold my son or enjoy time with him like she did with my daughter for the 1st 2 years of her life.

All I can do now is enjoy my time I have with .my dad while I have him

I don't have anything new to add. I agree with the other responders. It is scary to think of losing your parents or someone close.

It is scary to think about. I used to obsess about my parents dying when I was younger. I was a little kid already gifted at obsessively fretting over all kinds of things but yeah- worried myself silly at the thought of my parents biting the dust in their 20s and 30s. It could have happened of course. But it didn’t.

My dad died in his 60s and my mom died in her early 70s. Both died from things I never considered would happen to either of them. Both rather tragic in their own ways. It’s a funny thing about death- you know it’s gonna happen to everyone but it still shocks us when it takes our loved ones. I think it’s the hows and whys of it all that is the kicker for me.

Worrying about the what ifs doesn’t affect change though. For me that’s what anxious thinking tricks me in to believing, that somehow if I don’t obsessively worry then the worst thing I’m obsessively worrying about will surely happen. I really try to redirect my thinking when that happens and find any distraction to sort of snap myself out of that thought pattern. Sometimes I just say the thought out loud or write it down. When I do either of those it tends to drain some of the intensity out of my worry. Sort of like letting air out of a balloon.

There is a simple but great line from a Tom Petty song: Most things I worry about never happen anyway. I try to remind myself of that when my thoughts start getting carried away.

Big hug for you sweetie.... I really worried about this later in life and especially when I was caring for my parents

It was really awful at times... I had been particularly close to my mom as well

I think that we find a way to go on and thrive the best that we can because we have no choice and I have found now that their life was something I am so very grateful for so I try not to focus on theirs deaths but that came over time

A mindfulness or meditation group might really help you work on worrying about things which you have no control of...

Big hug.....xo

Thanks all. I have many more fears like someone snatching me in the middle of the night when I walk the dog outside. I have always been afraid of someone taking me. I dont know how to overcome these fears. On the plus side, I am always aware of my suroundings

Every case is unique, but when I am feeling more than one fear at a time, I take a step back and look at my personal herstory of hyper-vigilance/paranoia. It is a psychosis for which fear is but one of many symptoms. When I am hyper-vigilant, a baby bunny can scare me. Ya never know what biohazard might be sneezing from that twitchy nose.

When I back up and look at the psychosis instead of the endless strings of worries the which are but a symptom, a far greater range of psychotherapy tools can come into play.

But I might keep a mask handy for those twitchy nosed baby bunnies, just in case. Ya really never can tell where they've been. . .

I think understanding what is prompting the fear is a way to you manage it. For me it almost feels like habit, like if I’m not fearing or worrying about something what will I actually do with my time.

I also think trying to sort out what you would actually have control over helps. Like your point about being aware of your surroundings. That’s perfect. Or someone probably wouldn’t take someone with a dog because they would be afraid the dog might bite them or bark like a nut. Just little tricks to counter the fear.

My dog is a pitbull type so I hope he would bark and scare off anyone in the yard. He’s not very big and o don’t think he looks scary, but he is also very aware of the surrounding area.

I gotta talk this out in therapy.

Any kind of dog can be intimidating to a stranger., big, small, cute.

You have to be confident in your ability as a daughter to your parents. Prepare for the worst, but hope for the best. I do not think your parents will pass son, they are only in their 50s. People will pass away at different times, you can expect that, its possible that your parents will not pass at the same age. If they eat right and work out, longer life span is expected, there are exceptions.