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internalizing vs processing

arfie
arfie

"internalizing" and "processing" are two major themes in my own psychotherapy herstory. popular theory on my therapy support network has it that several of my more severe psych symptoms are connected to internalizing. rather than expressing myself, i suck it up and just keep going without discussion. sooner or later, ya gotta empty the vaccuum cleaner bag or it will explode from the accumulated debris from all that suckage.


as i understand processing, it happens internally. is "processing" just another form of internalizing?


as i typed the above, it occurred to me that a critical difference is that when i process, i express and validate my emotions as i go. takes up less brain space when i only file the facts? when i internalize, i typically isolate and invalidate my emotions as irrelevant.


dunno. . . am i making sense? just over-thinking again? thoughts and reality checks welcome.

rmb
rmb
Makes total sense. I can’t process when I internalize because for me, when I internalize, I’m too shut down to process.

My default position is to internalize. I think it might be my way to protect myself and others from myself. When I’m ready, whatever that means (seems to just sort of happen) then I can process.

Also when I internalize, it’s hard for me to mentally gather information in order to begin processing.

In a way, for me, the internalization is like intaking raw material and the processing is turning raw material into something useful.
arfie
arfie
love your summary, rmb. thank you. my initial brain fart is to compare that "raw material" to a grocery haul. those internalized groceries turn can turn into a toxic mess in a hurry if i don't put away the groceries with reasonable efficiency, most especially the dairy and frozen goods, but even the canned goods clutter up the counter something fierce.

or? ? ? am i lost in metaphor again? ? ?
unpredictable things happen when i start metaphoring around.
rmb
rmb
Thanks Arfie!

This topic prompted me to process what it means to process, haha! So thanks for that. I enjoy the thought provoking exercise, like calisthenics for the brain.

Yes, the grocery haul… I get that!

Thanks for always elevating the discussions!
arfie
arfie
thank you as well, rmb. these be the kind of discussions i seek in my peer support network, rmb. i honestly the best place to find sympathy is in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis." sympathy doesn't get me far. i can get that on instagram and/or in the local bar. ditto for the free advice that is worth at least twice what i paid for it.

i be looking for those calisthenics for the wounded heart, spirit and brain. . .

healing hopes.
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