Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
For months I've been fine....even got to the point where I kind of forgot how this feels. Now look at me! Here I am, a professional corporate person sitting in my office trying to keep my eyes dry, trying to breathe and feeling like I'm slipping into a bottomless pit. Why? I have no idea! And I'm stuck here....meetings, deadlines and an absent assistant.
I can say this; emotionally, I've had enough. I've hit the wall. I am "fix it" for everyone and today, I cant even get my docs office to answer the phone so I can make an appointment to fix myself....which I hate because I am deathly afraid of doctors! So even picking up the phone and actually dialing the number - the whole number- is remarkable for me and I've done it three times and still don't have an appointment.
So I broke down and took a lorazapam for the third day in a row....again, hate it because I don't want the chemical in my system and I don't want that to be my coping mechanism.
My digestive system is in knots and that makes me think I'm dying which intensifies the whole I-don't-wanna-call-the-doc-ever thing.
This is a miserable, special kind of hell! It's paralyzing and I am so totally at my wits end...right now. Tomorrow, I could be fine. Unreal.
Just need someone to suggest that I'm not going over the edge for real.
I can say this; emotionally, I've had enough. I've hit the wall. I am "fix it" for everyone and today, I cant even get my docs office to answer the phone so I can make an appointment to fix myself....which I hate because I am deathly afraid of doctors! So even picking up the phone and actually dialing the number - the whole number- is remarkable for me and I've done it three times and still don't have an appointment.
So I broke down and took a lorazapam for the third day in a row....again, hate it because I don't want the chemical in my system and I don't want that to be my coping mechanism.
My digestive system is in knots and that makes me think I'm dying which intensifies the whole I-don't-wanna-call-the-doc-ever thing.
This is a miserable, special kind of hell! It's paralyzing and I am so totally at my wits end...right now. Tomorrow, I could be fine. Unreal.
Just need someone to suggest that I'm not going over the edge for real.
I know you don't like Dr's...does this include therapists? It sounds like you may have grown up with no boundaries and a good therapist can help you learn boundaries. And learn them in a way that you don't have go to such extremes as making yourself so anxious.
I agree that anxiety and panic is a special kind of hell. I have worked hard on boundaries and healing from my past and I can now say that my life is free of anxiety and is no longer hell. I hope you can find this peace some day soon too.
Take care
I am feeling much better finally. It took a few days and a talk with my doc.
I find when I feel like I'm doing this all alone, I certainly panic much more. I also find if I do one "brave" thing each day...or try to...I feel instantly stronger. Like, calling the doctor or reaching out for help....whatever is scaring me, if I confront it, it's never the monster I imagined, is what I mean.
This is so foreign to me. I've always been the one to prop people up. I used to describe myself emotionally as "anesthetized" because nothing seemed to get to me.
Sooooo not the case anymore.
Anyway, thank you both for taking the time.