well I had my first panic attack in a long time earlier tonight. And it was as horrible as I remember. 

I didn’t cry tho. I thought I was dying. And I kept pacing and this rush just came over my body. Hot and then really cold. Feelings of impending doom. Derealization. In the back of my mind I knew what this was. This feeling was all too familiar. But it didn’t stop me from freaking out.

I tried to go and hug my boyfriend who was playing some computer game. But he didn’t seem to help. So my go to solution is call my mom until she answers. And I needed something to pull me back to reality. 

It was just the scariest feeling! The impending doom, but I kno I’ve felt this before and it’s not a good feeling. 

I guess right now I’m just trying to recover from the stress my body went through and I’m confused as to why this happened. And I don’t want it to happen again :(

i had a bad headache so I took 2 excedrin and then I fell asleep in the living room. I woke up maybe an hour to an hour and a half later. I was all clammy like I was sweating in my sleep. I got up and went into the kitchen and took my Prozac, poured a cup of iced tea, and grabbed a few cookies. I even went to the bathroom. Then I came in and layed in bed. It was like as soon as I layed in bed - I felt the panic and impending doom. 

I guess I’m just a little shaken up. 

Thanks for anyone who read this.