Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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I'm Upset

GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727

I found out that a classmate died yesterday.  I knew him.  He has been acting crazy on Facebook for a while.  He insisted that his wife cheated on him, when that wasn't true at all.  People talked until they were blue in the face but eventually, we all gave up.  I think he took his life.  It didn't hit me until this morning.  I told him about DS but he wrote back asking if I would have sex with him.  I didn't respond.  His wife posted pics of him that i took at our last reunion.  He was very well liked and a genuine good guy, but apparently had a problem with the bottle.  RIP friend!  


Not to sound petty, but I am also upset with myself.  I am not tolerating being hungry as I was when I was on a mission to lose weight.  I remember telling my best friend that "you really have to want it".  She cursed me out.  But it's true.  I've been really tired for a good week and I went to bed before 7 p.m. last night.  I woke up at 1:00 a.m. and had some coffee and went back to bed.  I am really tired.  I was so hungry that I ate 40 minutes early.  Now I will be extra hungry at work.  I try not to have my snack until 11:30 a.m. and then i have my lunch at 2:15 p.m.  I was so overweight.  I never want to be fat again.  My pants weren't fitting me yesterday.  I am only about 5 pounds up but it makes a difference in my clothes.  


Other things have me upset.  I just want to have a good day.

Community LeaderLeo
Leo
Might be time to re-evaluate how you approach the weight issue ---- taking it slow is always more lasting and less stressful on your mind AND body, IMO. As to the friend... I got nothing but puma purrs and hugs. I've never figured out how we humans tick. I've gotten such odd behaviors before, and then, poof. And it's so odd that sometimes the confusion outweighs the grief for me. But we cannot always figure it out, so... again, puma purrs, puma hugs.
Community LeaderLeo
Leo
Might be time to re-evaluate how you approach the weight issue ---- taking it slow is always more lasting and less stressful on your mind AND body, IMO. As to the friend... I got nothing but puma purrs and hugs. I've never figured out how we humans tick. I've gotten such odd behaviors before, and then, poof. And it's so odd that sometimes the confusion outweighs the grief for me. But we cannot always figure it out, so... again, puma purrs, puma hugs.

DS glitchy. Sorry
Marian2
Marian2
So sorry GreenEyes about your friend that passed. Your suggestion to join DS was a good one. He must have had a lot going on. Sad.

I know you were so happy when you were losing weight. But it is fine to be at different points in your life where weight is gained again. I was always thin my entire life. Well that has changed. whether it be menopause, medication I am on etc. I am certainly not happy about it.
But if you are super hungry, maybe you have a snack earlier.

I hope you can have a good day.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
When the personality changes that significantly, often reveals a physical change that impacts the way the brain processes information.

It's rough when we hear of a loss of a person we care about and all the 'what ifs' come into play as we process the grief.

The suggestion to come to DS is an excellent one. I've shared it with many foks in a general way.

Sorry for your loss, and take your time with grief and grieving.

As far as weight goes, I will share what my treatment plan included in the cognitive behavior therapy method. It works for me since even the eating emotionally was not easily identified as to origin and how to make it easier to listen to the hunger language in a safer way for my well-being.

Writing in a journal is something I do, even if I delete it after I write it. I also give myself a way to make the change easier with a few gentle chair exercises and give myself praise for caring for me.

The change, though, took a while to see the difference.

Here's hoping you have a wonderful day!
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
Thanks everyone! I cried on part of my long ride to work. When I got to work, I found out that I had to cover the high school bathrooms for an hour so I was happy about that. I didn't have my snack until 11:30 and I weighed myself before my shower and I didn't gain any more weight. I try to make my snacks smaller but somehow, I pack too much trail mix and I cannot bring myself to throw some away. I keep a diary on a daily basis on my computer. I was supposed to do a whole bunch of stuff after work but I am home with my cat on the loveseat and I am too tired to do anything. I have bbq chicken and spinach to heat up. I don't like to eat dinner before 5 p.m. I don't see an obituary for my friend yet. His wife said that he died from a medical condition and that she was happy that he was free of pain and life. He really wore his heart on his sleeve. Thanks again everyone.
MelT2020
MelT2020
Green, I still think you have greater discipline than most…give yourself some grace. Losing a classmate is hard, sending you a big hug
rmb
rmb
Oh, so sorry about your friend, GreenEyes.

With losing weight, for me I don’t think it’s just a matter of “you really have to want it.” I think with food addiction, disordered eating, emotional eating etc, it’s way more complex than that and everyone is different, coming with their own hang ups, baggage, brain wiring, etc. It’s one thing to intellectually know what needs to be done and an entirely different thing to mentally execute what needs to be done.

Until we stop thinking about it as a willpower issue, it will always be seen as a character issue which is BS, honestly.
BlueSky
BlueSky
I am really sorry about the loss of your friend, Green Eyes. It is always sad when a friend passes away. Being a Marine vet, I have lost many friends in the service to a variety of life ending events. You're always left wondering if there's something more you could have done. But if your friend passed from a medical condition, then there's nothing you could have done to prevent it, sadly.

For your weight loss....
Modifying one's behavior is usually challenging in the beginning, but gets easier over time. My advice is to turn it into something fun. For example, sign up for dance lessons, join a walking or hiking club, or sign up for a water aerobics class at your local gym, etc. In Hawaii, there are stand up paddle boarding clubs, canoeing clubs, and hiking clubs everywhere. It is hard to live a sedentary lifestyle in Hawaii. And I found out that the behavioral health clinic at my local VA hospital even has a cooking class. So, I signed up for one for anti-inflammatory foods.
Wishing you luck on your weight loss journey. I am really interested in health and fitness, so please keep us up to date here on DS. Hugs
GreenEyes727
GreenEyes727
I guess I didn't post right. My weight loss journey started on 1/1/22. I lost 89 pounds. I went from 227 to 138 but eventually, went up by 5 pounds. I have basically maintained that weight. I have a big appetite and always have. My parents joked that I must have a tapeworm when I was little. Yesterday, I woke up really early and had to deal with hunger for hours and couldn't do it anymore. I was pretty much done with my coffee and needed to eat. I didn't want to end up eating my snack early. I go to the gym bathrooms at 11:30 a.m. and it's nice and quiet and I eat my snacks. Then the elementary kids start coming in to use the bathrooms. The snacks keep me pretty full until it's time for lunch. I got fat because I couldn't take being hungry. I don't really have a food obsession. Just a big appetite. When I get hungry at night, I think about trying to sleep and waking up hungry and I will have a snack but I prefer to skip a snack at night. I'm just adamant about never being overweight again. I do a lot of walking at school. I could have never done that 4 years ago. I couldn't even get a sentence out of my mouth without losing my breath. Now my voice is loud and clear. Thanks again everyone! Mel, my brother says something similar!
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