Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I was reading my old journal from 30 years ago and in it I describe battling my anxiety to do things I really don't want to do but feel I should. Fast forward to today and I'm STILL doing that. Looking at what is normal, what I "should" do, what is expected, what I'm supposed to be doing.
It led me to wonder what would happen if I let go. What would happen if I said, "I don't feel like it" and did what I wanted to do - which mostly involves staying in the house and reading or puttering around.
I mean, I get out to do some things but I often do stuff I don't want to do - not because I have to - but because I feel I should.
I guess I've fought for so long because I worry that if I stop fighting, I'll get sucked into some vortex I won't be able to escape.
Thoughts? Has anyone tried this? It seems ill-advised to avoid everything that gives you anxiety but god it's exhausting to keep fighting. I feel like I've been treading water in the ocean for 40+ years.
It led me to wonder what would happen if I let go. What would happen if I said, "I don't feel like it" and did what I wanted to do - which mostly involves staying in the house and reading or puttering around.
I mean, I get out to do some things but I often do stuff I don't want to do - not because I have to - but because I feel I should.
I guess I've fought for so long because I worry that if I stop fighting, I'll get sucked into some vortex I won't be able to escape.
Thoughts? Has anyone tried this? It seems ill-advised to avoid everything that gives you anxiety but god it's exhausting to keep fighting. I feel like I've been treading water in the ocean for 40+ years.
Also, I'm curious to know why you feel you SHOULD be doing things you don't like to do. Is it because you feel it will decrease your anxiety? I have found that when I do things I don't want to do but feel I should be doing them, my anxiety increases. I had to learn to say 'no' to things I didn't want to do and work on exposing myself to things I do like to do but that cause me anxiety. This exposure therapy eventually decreases anxiety... but only if you actually want to do the activity in the first place (IMO).
So my advice...If you don't want to do something don't force yourself to do it. Be true to yourself and do things you love to do.
Take care
I think my "shouldness" comes from childhood when my parents felt the best cure was to force me to just push through the anxiety. When I was married and had kids, there were obligations there as well. And I just forced my way through it.
Now I'm at a point where I can decide what to do. I like the idea of exposure therapy but only in small steps and only those things I really truly want to do.
What I'm looking at is allowing myself to stay in when I want to stay in and go out only when I have something I really want to do.
Thank you!