Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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I want to give up. But I won't.

LettGoBreathe
LettGoBreathe

Yesterday was a horrible day. I was exhausted all day. My boyfriend was off work. I became increasingly paranoid and upset at him all day due to how he convinced me to go out and drink all weekend when I didn't want to.


So what did I do...? I went to the store and bought more beer. And I drank it and my paranoia went from bad to worse. The anxiety also went from bad to worse. He is an alcoholic who pressures me to drink, yes, but yesterday the craving to drink came from my own mind, not his. I started accusing him of going to the bar all day without me, I got increasingly paranoid


This is where the bad part happens. I messaged a girl I work with and drunkenly opened up to her. I said he raised his fist at me. Then I apologized and told her to ignore it and that I was drinking. I apologized this morning.


We work together every day. She will be starting in about half an hour. I have never wanted to die so much in my entire life. I am humiliated. I am worried she is going to tell people. She likes to drink herself, and has invited me out a couple times yet I declined, (my boyfriend didn't want me to go)  but I feel like she doesn't lose control like I do.


I don't know what to do. I feel like an idiot. I need to stop drinking, stop blaming my boyfriend for mentally "forcing" me to drink when I have a problem too, it's like I feel like this relationship is horrible and I wouldn't be like this if I was with someone else or single. I don't know what to do. We have literally no money now for 3 weeks because we walked down to the bar last night.


I don't know what to say to the girl I messaged on Facebook. I don't know why I did that.



Tere1313
Tere1313
I am sorry fort all its happening to. But sadly you boyfriend is toxic,and has a bad drinking problem he is ruining his life,a d you've life,cause I was with my boyfriend husband so so many same problem with drinking too..drinking us the person a other person my extra ray was my everything,but drinking maxed him a monster, hitting abuse me, would said I am sorry,and blame,for so long I though it was my fault..please open you're eyes,to see the light.,ask God for help,cause he loves us all no matter what we do,or say by mistake, I pray for you to see the truth. May God bless you us all.
bullito
bullito
to the AA meetings i went there was not much talk of the 12 steps, there was a lot of testimony and there were stories that would make yours look pale. there was much comprehension and understanding and the God thing did not really showed much anywhere. it was people relating to people who had the same problems and needed help.
LaPetiteGen
LaPetiteGen
I am so sorry to hear you are struggling with this- unhappiness, an unbalanced desire for alcohol and struggling with a difficult relationship. I too agree with some of the others, that worrying about your FB post to a co-worker is low priority. We all know people say and do things that they don’t mean, so I wouldn’t continue to worry about what she thinks of you. What is most important is how you feel about yourself and what you are doing to take positive steps to gain balance and control in your life. I have seen so many relationships ruined because of abuse of alcohol and drugs that it is heart breaking. It doesn’t always have to end badly; you can take control. But it starts with a first step. Getting help is important and maybe AA meetings could be a first step? What’s the worst that will happen you go and don’t like it? Have you considered maybe taking a break over a weekend and staying with a close family member or friend to give yourself some time to evaluate the situation, your relationship & your dependence on alcohol? Sometimes taking time to stop, regroup, rethink and discover what is truly important in your life can make all the difference. Praying the best for you!