Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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I need to vent :(

zeezee
zeezee

Today is one of those days where I feel that nobody around can emphatize with me and I feel so alone. We are homeless currently but living with a family member temporarily. The idea originally was 1 month only but it has stretched over to 4 months now due to circumstances. While this person feels it's ok for us to stay at her home for as long as we want, I don't feel comfortable knowing I can't give anything back. I feel shame and failure. When I express it to my husband, he tries to 'fix' me with positivity and always trying to get me to shut off that negative emotion. He's trying his best to bring me out of the hole, but he also admits that I sometimes pull him down with me emotionally whenever I am this way, so I feel like I can't talk to him.


Every month, I worry about the bills that is piling up and how we're not making enough to cover it. We have had to pawn or sell our belongings in some months that are really bad. My stomach is always in a knot when the bills are due and I can't even see myself spending money on anything other than the very basic like groceries and utilities. Another thing is, I have longed to be a mother but our situation has always been the no. 1 reason for me not to do it. I feel selfish on wanting a baby so badly regardless of our situation, but I'm not getting any younger either. I just don't know what to do. I can't sleep or eat when I think of all this.

Tired
Tired
Try starting a journal. Writing your feelings down may help.
Look on the web for things about living on very little money.
See if you can get free counseling somewhere.
carlyj1202
carlyj1202
I am soo, soo , sorry that you are having to deal with this. I am just curious as how you can afford a smart phone with no money coming in.?

I do wish you only the best and please let me know how you make it.
Community LeaderMid
Mid
Stop. Write out what you can do to help yourself improve your circumstances. Get out, walk, find things to focus on that are free, and ways you can help.

Worry is nothing but thought. Put your brain and body in motion positively.

Use a journal for helping you sort through the patterns and keep positive first. Put your well-being in front and keep going. Smile until you feel it all the way inside.

Best wishes.
patti22
patti22
How about helping out in non-financial ways? Bring her coffee in the morning, or a cup of hot tea at night? Clean the bathrooms? Trim the shrubbery? There is usually some chore that people hate doing...you could take that over for her or him.

At the same time, when you're staying in someone else's house...it's really, really important to respect their privacy, as well as important for you to get out of "their" house regularly...so maybe you can make it a routine to spend Friday nights at the library, or Sunday mornings...or whatever works for your life in the area that you're at.

Meanwhile, remember that their bills are going to be higher with guests than they will be without you...so be very, very careful with your own spending.

***It drove me crazy having my brother in law in the house, and have him leave on the lights, and go out to eat repeatedly though the week. He was basically living better than we were...and that just wasn't fair.***
zeezee
zeezee
Thank you all so much for the words of encouragement. Yes, I do have a journal but I don't write it every day, but it does help some. As mentioned, we do some side jobs which is enough to cover for our bills, which would include the phone. I help out around the house as much as I could without overstepping the boundary (she mentions that she feels that she is the host and wants to be the one to do the cooking for us, not the other way round and so I backed off from that department. But I do help with all the cleaning and buying her groceries).
foreverbeach11
foreverbeach11
Hi Zeezee. I am sorry you are going through a tough time right now. I know what it's like when you are making enough money to pay the bills. Have you considered getting another job. I worked 2 jobs for a while in order to make more money. I changed jobs once because I just wasn't making enough money. When I had to stay with someone, it was difficult too. Sometimes it doesn't take money. Have you considered to offer to help around the house? Maybe offer to clean the house or do yard work or if they have kids, even babysitting. Sometimes just showing you want to help out and show your appreciation for them allowing you and your husband to stay. Try not to beat yourself up about wanting kids. Maybe consider talking about it with your husband. Sometimes there is no perfect time to do the things we want to do including having kids. It can be easy to get down and depressed but maybe think about how you want your future to be. Maybe this will help you to try to stay positive. Wishing you the best.
zeezee
zeezee
Yes, I have considered getting a job. I've been doing freelancing work so far but it hasn't been enough to pay for the bills so I need to come up with alternatives now. We are in transition right now to leave for another state so I'm going to start looking for jobs there. Hopefully I will get something. I've been helping a lot around the house, cooking and cleaning, even taking care of the dog. My husband has also been doing some repair work in the house so it's really not like we're bumming around. From outsiders perspective, maybe we are but I don't care anymore about their judgements. You are right in saying there's no perfect timing in having kids, we just have to make it work. I really want a good life for them so I'm going to use this time to prepare it :) Thank you all so much for your kind words and advice!
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