I'm so sorry to hear all of those things you have to deal with, but keep holding on! I've had anxiety, depersonalization, and schizophrenia for a while now. I've had to take care of my best friend who suffered from drug addiction and alcoholism, and is currently battling depression and possible borderline personality disorder. So I can imagine all the pressure and stress you are going through. If you aren't seeing a therapist or doctor, you may want to do that. I know it isn't for everybody, but I got sick of how I felt after a while and chose to find someone to help me. It's helped me a bunch, but I know people that it doesn't help at all. It helps me to surround myself with things I love, have positive and meaningful conversations with people I love, and maybe even set goals every day, small or big, just to get motivated to get out of bed. I have two nephews that can be stubborn and rude, but I help them as best I can and do everything I can to educate them; reading, doing projects, taking them places or just outside, etc. I talk to my best friend who has depression, although I sound like a broken record half the time I keep trying and keep offering my advice and help and hugs.

I hope you can get through this, and the thing I keep running through my head is not to give up, because it won't always be like the worst day you have. I will have bad days, I will have good days, etc. It goes for everybody, and it's up to you and your mindset to keep staying positive and find things to motivate you. Although you and your family are suffering a lot of problems, you sound like beautiful people, and I hope you find good things and good people on this site and in the world.

All the best,
-phony