I'm sorry I don't have any OCD information, but I will stay on here for you, I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but I'm sure that I have experienced it to some degree in my life.
Remember that this will not harm you physically, call on a family member, try counting objects, or anything to distract yourself from your fear, your not alone here, I will pray for you.

I worry about hurting my 16 month old, CONSTANTLY. I get intrusive thoughts about it.

As a young parent many of us have experienced this, you have to remember that your motherly instinct's are to protect your children with your very life.

I am and i KNOW i will NOT hurt him. Its just an intrusive thought :(

Feel free to e-mail me anytime, I have two children of my own, and I worried about them constantly when they were that age.
My daughter was sent home with jaundice, and had to be immediately
returned for several day's of intensive care, she is 14 now, and the joy of my life.
And my son has never had any serious problems, he is a full time college student, and well on his way to a rewarding life also.

Try some breathing techniques. I have two boys, one 6 and the other is 17 months. I have worried myself into an ulcer ( I wish I was kidding), My 6 y/o has many life threatening allergies and the other boy has no fear and is a constant worry. Can you join a play group? Are you a SAHM? I am home most of the time and it allows me too much time to think negative thoughts. I PROMISE this will get better. I have very repetitive thoughts and put myself through hell on a daily basis. I'm here to chat...can't sleep..

okay. my dad suffered pretty severely from OCD. all of my 4 brothers and sisters and myself have suffered at some point or still continue to. the weird thing is it has manifested itself in so many ways. i thought i was OVER mine. but my mom recently told me when i was doing very poorly that she thought i had this issue....as i say many of the same things that my dad did in his worst times. he is MUCH better now, but he still has random episodes that he talks thru with my mother. but it all makes sense. some of the worry that I HAVE is OCD, and i just thought i was weird. it just manifested not as a germ phobia or checking the lock, but in social situations. i will repeat conversations over and over in my mind, worrying that i came across the wrong way. that the person will think i was mean or took something the wrong way. anyway, that is my issues with it so far, but i am just learning this issue. so feel free to chat as much as you want.

Morning:
pick up the book "Imp of the Mind"---so helpful; you will not feel alone.
OCD thoughts can be controlled with prozac; I take 30 ml--was fine for a decade-- until the "problem" hit again during perimenopause--. Find a good couselor that can help you with cognitive behavior and thought stopping: like an imaginary stop sign or thinking of a pink elephant--down to eveyr freaking last detail of that elephant. I understand the fear, also look into post partum depression probs since your son is young hugs, you are a good mom--you are reaching out

I get worried that I said the wrong thing or didn't say something that I should have. I live a pretty solitary life and no longer have a car so when I do get out I need to make the best of it but believe most of the time I would rather stay home to social phobia. I over think things all of the time. I am trying to be more aware of my thinking and redirect it but it is a slow process. I am in therapy and I think that help immensely for support and guidance. I went for years without a therapist and am very glad to be back in therapy. I feel that I have hope of making my life better and happier. It is a slow and sometimes discouraging process but it is doable.

I have OCD and have dealt with intrusive thoughts in the past. Please feel free to message me if you have any questions. I have 4 kids, and all of them are alive and well despite all of the bad thoughts I have had. Remember that thoughts and urges are two different things and you have no desire to hurt your kids. You are just afraid that the desire may develop. But it won't, I promise you. Hang in there and stay strong!

This is a response i wrote to a new mom who had been on a new mom website and a person had written, "iam turned on by infants." she was initally shocked and disgusted but then started not trusting herself around her newborn son.

this is a lot more common than you realize. the reason you are so distressed by this is quite obvious- you wonder if perhaps you are turned on by infants? you know you could molest your son since you are with him all the time. you could do anything you wanted to him. but here's the thing- you wouldn't. the reason you wouldn't is quite obvious as well. you are distressed because you think it's sick and crazy that someone is turned on by infants. that was your initial response. then it started to wear on you. that's when anxiety came in to play. that's when you started worrying if you are the type who is a sick monster. now you are trying to prove that you aren't but you aren't but you don't feel confident. if someone came and accused you of being turned on by him, you would be indignant and furious. you do KNOW that you are not but the anxiety is making you doubt yourself. the important thing to know is this not a blasphemous connection to make. people think things like that all the time. you are washing your baby and think that you could drown it. you could leave it at the gas station on purpose. you could stop feeding him. you could do all kinds of things but you wouldn't. when people who are not affected by anxiety have these thoughts they drift away but you have an emotional reaction to them that makes them stick around. one way to deal with this is to follow a cognitive behavior method called AWARE:
this is from a cognitive behavior therapy book. this will help you desensitize to things that are causing you anxiety. "panic attack workbook: a guided program for beating the panic trick." by dr. david carbonell.

here are the steps to take when we panic (or become anxious) it's the acronym AWARE.

A-cknowledge and accept-accept your feeling of anxiety and become aware of the symptoms. know that you are safe even though you are scared and that it's ok to panic.

W-ait. our gut instinct is to flee or change our behavior or try to stop the panic. Wait to respond so you don't reinforce the idea of being "in danger" by reacting to the panic. know that you can escape but delay the decision. stay where you are.

A-ctions to make yourself more comfortable. We're not trying to stop the panic attack. it will end no matter what and struggling keeps us ill rather than helps us get better. do belly breathing. go to axietycoach.com to see dr. carbonell do the belly breathing. also, keep fulfilling your "role." if you're shopping, keep shopping. if you're driving, merge, change lanes. if you're preparing food for your child, keep preparing food. do whatever your role is at that time. a lot of anxiety comes from resisting our role. for instance, your role when you're a passenger in a car is to sit comfortably and let the time pass. people get anxious b/c they want to be elsewhere (but they aren't), they feel the need to walk or run (but they can't). they're resisting the role. another technique to use is "the rule of opposites". your gut instinct is your bodies response to "danger" but we're actually only experiencing "discomfort". by reacting like it's danger, the panic cycle persists. we should do the opposite of our gut instinct. if we're walking on a bridge and we're stiff, clinging to the railing and holding our breath, we should let go of the railing, do belly breathing and maybe do a hop or two. our brain gets the message that we're doing the opposite of our instinct so we're probably not in danger.

R-epeat. the anxiety may begin to get better, then get worse. keep doing the techniques.

E-nd. we are not trying to end the panic, but ride it out so we can become desensitized to it. the panic will end. they always do. the catastrophic thoughts we have never happen. the catastrophic thoughts are just a symptom of panic.

it's important to remember that you have a prefrontal cortex which helps you identify right from wrong and prevents you from doing the things your catastrophic thoughts tell you you could do. you could poison your son, perform a sex act on him, kill him etc. in theory you could since you are with him. in reality you would never do that. therefore the thoughts are wrong. it's good to know that and remember that but fighting anxiety with reason is not the bes thing to do. fighting the anxiety makes it persist and anxiety makes us irrational. do the aware steps and the fear response will ebb away.

Here is a response i wrote to a woman who was making her child a sandwich and had the image of herself stabbing him the knife she was holding and then she panicked and called her husband.

Tons of people have dealt with this. i felt just like you about 4 years ago at the worst and until recently very slightly. my mom is a paranoid schizophrenic and i was so obsessed that i might develop it too.
it is important to know that you don't have to believe every thought you have (these are dr. daniel amen of the amen brain research clinic's, words). believe it or not, sane people think disturbing and twisted things every day. people have about 50,000 thoughts per day. all a thought is is an electrical impulse in the brain. you think that if people knew the things you think in your mind then they would want you to be committed but they are in the same boat.

i'd hate to share something like this but i am hoping it will help you. i have thought many many disturbing things. two years ago, i was very anxious and depressed and addicted to marijuana. one day i was smoking a joint with my boyfriend and his dad and his dad talked about how he accidentally popped his sister's eye out with a broom handle (i am sure it was a lie but anyway). later on the thought and image popped into my head. then the thought "what if i popped my own eye out?" came into my mind. i immediately panicked. i thought to myself "normal people do not think things like this!" i was so scared that i might be becoming schizo like my mom that i admitted myself to the psych ward. (the fact that i was wicked stoned probably contributed to my poor judgment.) so there i was, in the psych ward for 3 days and not being able to get out b/c i had willingly signed myself in.
when i told the doc that i had had that crazy thought he said, "people think things like that every single day but they don't react to it like you did. as a matter of fact, just this morning my wife was sitting there with her coffee, lifting it to her lips and i thought 'i could smash that cup into her face.' just b/c i had that thought doesn't mean i don't love my wife or that i want to be violent. it is just a thought. just b/c you think it, doesn't mean its true." then he told me that people who are going insane never suspect that they may be and are never afraid of it b/c they have an impaired grip on reality.

dr. daniel amen said in a show the other day that he saw a man in the grocery store holding a big pile of boxes and the image of him tripping the guy and all the boxes flying popped into his head. he said that people have a prefrontal cortex(the front of the brain) that keeps them from acting on any of these thoughts or impulses. only sociopaths have nonfunctional prefrontal cortexes and they would never be distressed about any thoughts like you are. dr. deepak chopra said that the deep fear that a person may be insane is "the surest sign that he is not."
here is a link where another doctor insists that we will not and cannot go crazy from anxiety.

http://www.anxietynetwork.com/pdfe...

after i left the hospital, i was so incredibly depressed and anxious. none of the reassurances from the doctor helped me at the time. i was still very afraid of becoming schizo like my mom. every time i heard the word on tv or anywhere else, my heart would skip a beat. if i was discussing my anxiety with someone and they said "maybe you're.." i half-expected them to say schizo. i lost many good months (at least 1 1/2 years) from my life over this fear and this fear will never ever come true for you or me. please just let it go. here's a simple exercise that i hope will help you.

thought: what if i am crazy? or what if i go crazy?

q:is this true?
a:based on facts, this will never be true. it is impossible to develop insanity of any type as a result of anxiety. no matter how much you fear it, it will never happen.

q:how do i feel when i think this about myself?
a:i feel panicky, alone, scared, uncomfortable in my own skin, helpless, useless, hopeless, etc.

q:how would i feel if i didn't have this intrusive thought in my life?
a.since it is impossible for this to ever happen, if i were able to let it go i would feel much more comfortable and well-equipped to handle my anxiety. i would be on the road to health and happiness b/c i would regain a ton of lost confidence.

a few parting thoughts, these are some things that i have thought. i am not 100% comfortable sharing them but i hope it makes you feel better.
i have thought:
what if i killed my pet rabbit one day (outlandish. i am a huge animal rights activist)
what if i hit jeremy(my boyfriend)
what if i said the "n" word to someone?(i was afraid of that a lot when i worked at shaw's)
what if i jumped out a window or ran in front of traffic?
what if i were talking to someone and their face got distorted and it was cuz i went crazy or what if all of a sudden i just started screaming and acting crazy and had to get institutionalized.
what if i lashed out violently at a customer?
what if i smashed a cake my boss made?

one day when i was super distressed over how disturbing i thought my thoughts were i broke down and told my boyfriend. i was distressed at the time b/c i had been brushing my rabbit and someone commented on how tiny her necks is and the image of me snapping her neck popped into my mind and completely freaked me out. so i told him that i had thought that and he said"is that it?" and i was shocked. i said "is that it? i thought about killing harriet!" and he said"no you had the thought of breaking her neck. that's way different. if you wanted to kill her then that would be messed up but people think shit like that all the time.wanting to do something and thinking something are way different." then he told me about how he was holding a bundle of cable and walking behind a customer and had the image of him strangling the guy but let it roll off his chest b/c thoughts are just thoughts.

well, i hope you're a fast reader. i just wanted to alleviate you of some of the pain i felt when i used to feel the exact same way as you. there is no reason to feel so distressed about it b/c its perfectly normal (at the worst, its a little exaggerated b/c you lack the confidence in yourself that non-anxious people have). the more you focus on this fear that will never happen, the longer it will take for you to recover. things will def get better (i am probably 90% cured as of now and never thought i would come so far). i really hope i helped you. please just let it go.
(btw, i am a 23 y.o. female)

i have had to work on not letting the thoughts affect me. non-anxious people have the same types of thoughts but they just let them drift away. but with us it's like a beacon saying,"don't think that! that's a bad thought. i have to make it go away." in giving the though the attention we are making it recur or affect our mood. you just have to let them go and counter act them. for example;
thought-nobody likes me.
here's the process you need to through to start making thoughts have less staying power.
Q-is this true?
no, of course it isn't true. there are def people that like me. not everyone will like me and that is ok,
Q-how do i feel when i think this thought?
i feel bad and awkward and unwanted.
Q-how would i feel if i didn't feel this way?
i would feel more light hearted and better able to enjoy hanging out with people.

eventually, thoughts will stop having so much pull in how you feel. you will regain power and be able to gloss over any unwanted thoughts.

also, i recommend you read up on meditation. the science behind it is amazing and it really helps in all aspect of one's life.

Wrote this to a mom who had pictured herself dropping her baby on purpose:

when you say this is not normal, i def, disagree. people think things like this all the time. however they are not anxious so they let the thought go and move on. my boyfriend's sister had a baby 10 months ago. i told her when i got my rabbit, someone remarked that her neck was so tiny it could snap like a twig. then i started worrying that i would hurt her. maybe i would put poison in her water bottle and snap her neck! i was so scared when i was petting her and caring for her. jill laughed and said she has def had thoughts like that but she brushes them off bc she'd kill anyone who hurt her baby. then i asked her what types of things she thought of and she said she had thought she could pinch her tiny nose shut, had been walking by an open window and the image of her tossing her out popped into her mind, she was on the sidewalk with the stroller and saw the image of herself pushing the carriage in front of the bus etc. she was saying all this nonchalantly then called to her mom and asked her if she had those types of thoughts. her mom said oh def. it's just your mind taking an object and applying an action to it and that's all. she said it never bothered her b/c she just didn't think twice about it. she remembers laughing out loud once when she was tossing clothing into the dryer and thought about tossing jill in there too. you can't gasp and slap your hand to your mouth when you think these thoughts. they are just thoughts. i am sure you have thought these things and then wondered if you enjoy imagining these things. of course you don't! you are just human. we can't control our thoughts, only our reaction to them. the more distressed by these thoughts you become, the longer the staying power of the anxiety. you can message me if you'd like because i have gotten over my intrusive thoughts. well, they haven;t gone away but they don't cripple me and terrify me anymore.

I have OCD and it is very hard to deal with, not to mention, embarassing. If you are having fears of hurting your child my suggestion would get with a counselor to discuss. They can put a lot of things into prespective for you. Also they can put you on a drug that will help taper off some of the compulsion you feel. My fears stem more from the feeling of losing what I love and losing control of things, so I do things to, what I feel anyway, counteract those things from happening. I try not to keep adding to the rituals but it is a stuggle. I am here if you need to talk :)