Anxiety Support Group

Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...

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I'm falling back into self-hate

Onnyyxx
Onnyyxx

I can feel myself falling back into self-hate. I am trying so hard to stop thinking the way I do. I am trying so hard to tell myself that I am not ugly or fat....Idk....I think its because my partner follows other girls on their social media account that are beautiful and skinny that is making feel like this. I tried to talk to him about it and I know he isn't in their inboxes and that he truly loves me...But it doesn't make it hurt any less. He's never cheated on me or made me feel like I wasn't important....Idk maybe if I change the way I look, I will feel differently. Maybe if I do this for me, then I will feel better about myself. Idk.....I'm just so conflicted...

arfie
arfie
**Stop** the way you think? Yikes! ! ! I have a hard enough to change the way I think, one negative thought at a time. Trying to **STOP** the way I think, altogether, was the psychic equivalent of stopping the ocean tide with a sand pail.

One of the early thoughts it helped me to change was the notion that anybody could **make** me anything. Taking personal responsibility for who and what I am was an important step in my recovery. It wasn't as easy a cosmetic make-over. That war paint washes off. Not so much the self-loathing.

Gentle support while you sort your own, Onnyxx.
madelynjay
madelynjay
You're definitely not alone, i've been feeling this way recently as well. I find myself looking at girls pages my boyfriend used to hook up with and making myself feel worthless and ugly. He loves me very much and i trust him, but i never feel like i'm enough for him.
I find the only thing that will help is change my thinking pattern (which is very very hard). If a girl he used to sleep with pops into my head i have to push it away and tell myself she's old news, he's not with her he's with ME and there's a reason for that. Then i tell myself all the ways he has told me he loved me and hopefully i'll learn to love myself through the process.
I'm here if you need to chat.
caring2018
caring2018
I am so glad you reached out here. One thing I had to learn others can't love me until I learn to love myself. An exercise that helps with this is listing your strengths. We all have things we do well but most often than not we focus on the negative things about ourselves. It is also our choice of words we say to ourselves - instead of saying I am not fat, say I am comfortable with who I am. If you want to make changes to your look than do so, but only do it if you doing it for yourself and not for your partner. Ask yourself what is holding you back or stopping you from loving yourself and making those changes. Keeping a journal really helps with this. I am available if you ever want to chat. I still work on this to remind myself I am special. I am uniquely and wonderfully made. God has designed each of us individually and we each have our own strengths, purpose, and beauty. I will be praying for you. Hugs to you and know you are important and beautiful.
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