Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
A week ago Friday, my delusional Aunt left a 3 minute message on my voicemail. She said that her daughter was back on drugs and that her daughter was in bed with a man at the nursing home who she was crazy about, despite the fact that he broke her nose the week before. None of that is true and I was offended for my cousin! She is happily married and stays away from my Aunt for her own mental health. She is a psychologist, very intelligent, proper, loyal. I spent a lot of time with her when she was 11 to 17. She's a good person. She has never done drugs or cheated on her husband. My Aunt has said many things about her, including that she was dead 16 times, that her husband beat her and she lost her baby, that she had a suicide note in her pocket, that Dolores (who isn't real) stabbed her in the back, etc. So when my brother and I visited her last Sunday, she started to tell me that her daughter was there with the man and I just couldn't hold myself back and I yelled at her and told her that she was lucky that I didn't tell her daughter what she says about her because she would never talk to her again. I also wouldn't tell her because it would hurt her. Well, I haven't heard from my Aunt since then. Very unusual. It has been somewhat of a Godsend, not hearing negative talk about the nursing home, more stuff that's not true or her other delusions. Well, my brother wants to visit her today. I know she has to be out of soda and snacks. That\s basically the only reason I thought I should go today. This woman has literally driven me to a nervous breakdown in the past, has pissed me off many times, is a total nudge, is demanding, causes me extra work because of her paranoia, etc. But I feel bad that I yelled at her. I know she can't help these thoughts but I don't know how she can carry on normal conversation and come up with this shit. Her memory is very good. She does not have dementia. I really have enjoyed not hearing from her. Today she will ask me to play her favorite song. I don't like the song at all. One other time when I was mad at her, I called her and said I was playing her favorite song, hit play and went to the kitchen. I heard her talking the whole damn time. I was pissed! When I used to pick her up for errands, she would start talking before she even got in my car, complaining about her son and her sister. She would never shut the eff up. I asked one of my therapists how we can love people who are so annoying. I do love her but really need a break. I don't know how she will receive me today. I don't know if she is hurt, pissed, forgot my number again or what.
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
She has something seriously wrong with her, it can be a character defect or personality disorder maybe where she just lies and lies. Maybe she wants attention.
Did she ever drink to excess? This can affect the brain and my MIL was a former alcoholic and got into real irrational and angry spells as she was aging -- it was awful. She didn't know where she was or what age she was but she'd lose her mind over nutty stuff. Wake up in the middle of the night having an angry irrational spell, yelling, waking up her husband, refusing to allow the caregiver to help her. But my MIL didn't truly know she was doing this stuff. So awful they had to give her morphine to calm her down. Just awful.
Just set up internal boundaries to match your own values and then live that behavior you feel is right or need to do for your own emotional wellness. Do not listen to her VMs or stop immediately when you can tell she is into her "crazy talk" and delete. Don't engage with her when she is like this and don't yell at her. Go visit as much as you can but not too much that it makes you feel angry and yell at her. Do not allow yourself to have another nervous breakdown. Maybe a month long break would help you. Or don't visit out of guilt, that you owe her. If you feel you must go, set an internal boundary that you'll stay 15 minutes and leave. Whatever time you can handle. Don't sit around for an hour. If she gets nutty or starts lying, set an internal boundary you will leave right then and do not argue with her.
Your own emotional wellness is most important here. You can't fix her or change her and this is way too much drama. You matter, too. Give yourself compassion and empathy first and then see if you can dig down deep inside for compassion and empathy for her.
Delusions are a very big part of mental disorders,
Growing up my family became friends whose son had Down syndrome (he had a sister) All he wanted was a little brother.
Anyway was -14-15 when it all started happening (I was 5 when we met, he was 15) His dad would come over and start saying, his son says this about this that about that, Is that true??? Well, if is son didn't like what I had to say, they would bring over, and would come in screaming at me,
speaking nonsense incoherent gibberish.
Didn't take me long till to think, he thought we were brother's..
It is sad, But, that's how the mental mind works, unfortuneatly ........they do have delusion's,
And unfortuneatly has alzthiemers now.
My mom can't walk, and she lives in my home. I do everything for her. I am thankful for people like you that really understand what it is like to be a caregiver. Most people just do not understand. I hope things get better for you and your Aunt. We both will hang in there. If you should need to vent your frustrations, I am here for you.